Size matters!? Maji De Otaku Na Engrish.

“Repeat after me: In old time Japan, breast size determined a person’s social status.”

The new anime, Maji De Otaku Na English! Ribbon-chan: a puella magi who fights with English, is about English lessons for Japanese otakus. I was watching Episode 5th, and there was a parody of Manyuu Hikenchou (魔乳秘剣帖). Yes, the oppai anime! And according to Manyuu, the caste system was determined by breast size. Yes, in feudal Japan, especially the Edo period (1603-1868). The famous opening line says, “Breast is the rule of law. Large breasts are wealth, thus absolute. Hinnyuu (poor breasts) don’t deserve humanity.  (乳こそがこの世の理。豊乳は富であり絶対。貧乳は人に非ず。)”

Welcome to the village of Manyuu.

Yes, size matters. In America, anything humungous is seen “bad ass.” Supersize me. A huge ass house with a huge ass garage which at least two gas-guzzlers can fit. Even porn actors are excessively enlarged. So, everything is energy wasting. On the other hand, the Japanese concept of beauty praises aesthetically small and compact. And historically the people of Japan were known for being small. The Chinese called the Japanese people “侏儒 (midgets).” But Lovely Complex proves that small men are sexy. Yes, even with a small penis, we’re totally desirable! We’re the true prince, eco-prince, le petit prince!

Same goes for breasts. So, I don’t think flat chest was a bad thing in old time Japan either, especially wearing kimono, which doesn’t emphasize breasts at all. Even Sei Shōnagon said, “Small is beautiful.” Small is cute and pretty. Yes, loli and yōjo are small, thus cute. In today’s sense, “small is moe!” So, our size must be moe!

Small breasts are the widow’s mite. Two mites, two lepta, or “two cents” refer to a pair of breasts, since human females have two breasts as a pair. In other words, “to put my two cents in” is “to flash my small breasts.” So, IMHO is “in my humble oppai.” Surely in Jesus’ time, women in poverty didn’t have large breasts because of malnutrition. But Mother Teresa said, “poor is beautiful.” So, poor breasts are dazzling. Hinnyuu is justice!

Yes, “Small is beautiful” is an updated version of Christ’s word, “Blessed are the meek,” interpreted by E. F. Schumacher, who advocated the Buddhist economy. Yes, this Buddhist approach to economy, e.g., a simple life practitioner Steve Jobs’ contribution to “small is beautiful” in America. His life style was known to be humble. Small = poor in size. But poor in size is exactly the beauty.

Thus, “blessed are the poor breasts. (貧乳は幸いである。)” Or I should say “meek breasts.” Meek is humility. So, meek breasts are humble breasts. Just like Kuroko says to Misaka in To Aru Kagaku No Railgun when she does Janet Jackson to her in a shower room, “These humble breasts lack self-assertiveness. But this humility is the seduction that is making my heart go crazy.”  So, humility is sexy. Hinnyuu is sexy, beautiful, and cute. Hinnyuu is moe! Even Nobu-chan tells Risa to flash her boobs at her crush in Lovely Complex, despite Risa’s poor-sized breasts.

Down with the income gap. Down with the oppai gap!

Blessed are the poor in size, for their is the kingdom of heaven!

Author: Monsieur LaMoe

A refugee from Japan. Live in NAFTA. Get hooked on Moe. Moe is opium? Twitter: @MonsieurLamoe

4 thoughts on “Size matters!? Maji De Otaku Na Engrish.

    1. @schneider

      Cool! Glad to know. Yes, a magical girl struggling with English. How cute is that!

    1. @Ray

      LOL. Downtown’s punishment game was really funny. I love female seiyuu’s Engrish accent too, so cute and funny!

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