OreGairu, I’m still a v…vir…


Totally heaven for virginmaniacs, or shojochuu (処女廚)!

Ahh, that’s what I’m waiting for. OreGairu, in other words, Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabukome wa Machigatteiru, (My youth romantic comedy is wrong as expected.) Yes, romantic comedy! That is my genre. For all these years of my hikikomori life is saudade, this is the oasis I’ve been searching for since I left Japan.


Yes, this is about a bocchi (loser with no friend). And he is called “hikky (hikikomori) because his family name is Hikigaya. And then, he meets a mysterious girl at some classroom, her name is Yukino Yukinoshita, and she is a sole member of Service Club, or Volunteer Club. She always reads a book. She looks like an angel, but she is actually asocial. Probably sociopath. She has no friend because she claims because of her beauty. Typical conceited character.

“I’m not a slut, because I’m still a vir…”

Then, the orange hair girl, Yui Yuigahama, shows up at the club. And she is a very outgoing energetic girl. Her energy comes from, her life forces come from…of course, yes, she got things-in-themselves, just like Kana-chan from Chihayafuru. But, there is no haptic technology to feel her things, no virtual skinship whatsoever, which is also saudade. Haptics (skinship) is what we otakus lack, even Christ was haptic when healing people, so I want to be healed by her things-in-themselves. Her things are in the realm of metaphysics, so I can’t touch. Metaphysics is God’s realm. So, keep clear of the gods, far from Jupiter, far from thunder. So, touching her things is sacrilegious, violation of the sacred. Things-in-themselves are sacred and inviolable. Holy inviolability is called “privacy” in today’s sense. Yes, private parts. But, those sacred parts are what otakus seek, ultimately to get connected with them. Yes, haptics (skinship) is a religious experience, but for 3D girls, not allowed, and for 2D girls, not possible, so inside our head, then virtual haptics or in a worst scenario, auto-haptics, and that is moe!

Anyway, back to topic, Yui’s eyes glitter and join the club. But, she comments that Hikky is repulsive, creepy, and then in turn, Hikky calls her a bitch. In Japan, “bitch” means “slut.” Here in America, “bitch” means “mean woman.” So, Yui denies that she’s a slut, and then she almost said, “I’m not a bitch, because I’m still a vir…waaaaahhhh!!!” And then, otakus who are virginmaniacs went crazy, the computer screen was flooded with the euphoric comments at once. And then, she says, “Even though you’re already 17, but still inexperienced, that will damage the power of girlhood.” And her voice resembles Hocchan (Horie Yui), so I immediately come to like this character!

Oh yeah, I think Yui is secretly in love with Hikky. The way she talks to him, so awkward, yes, it’s a flag! How she twirls her hair, and ohhh, tsundere! Why is she saying mean stuff to him? Yes, because I believe she likes him! That’s just a cover-up to hide her real emotion. Yes, that is the knack to romantic comedy. It makes life fun. How I wish my life was like that.  Kyokyokyo, that is the ultimate taste of romantic comedy! Romantic comedy is divine comedy! Romance = divinity.

Author: Monsieur LaMoe

A refugee from Japan. Live in NAFTA. Get hooked on Moe. Moe is opium? Twitter: @MonsieurLamoe