いのち短し 恋せよ少女 Virgins, go enjoy romance, life is short. – The Gondola Song
Shojochuu (処女廚 “virgin mania” or “virgin mental disease”). This kanji “処女 (shojo)” is also read otome (maiden). And otome has three kanjis, 乙女, 処女, 少女.
In Steins;Gate, when Christina accidentally confesses that she is a virgin, Daru-kun overreacts as a moe pig otaku. And in Sankarea, to the scene that Rea accidentally admits that she’s a virgin, it caused a commotion among otakus. And during Loli Fujiko ED in A Woman named Mine Fujiko, some otaku commented, “Fujiko was once a virgin, wasn’t she?” Yes, Virgin Fujiko, that would be an oxymoron, but if Fujiko is a loli…
We worship virgins. We yearn for virgins, and want to do peropero on them. So yes, why are otakus so into virgins? Yes, virgin craze. Virginmania. Virginphilia. Parthenophilia. Why does a virgin have so much appeal to otakus in general? Well, “otaku in general” sounds pretty much not general (ippanteki) but already non-general, I mean, not people of ordinary (ippanjin), but “extraordinary”! Yes, we’re extraordinary.
But just to be clear, I’m not an extremist. Shojochuu fundamentalists even demand 3D girls to be virgins, especially idol singers. Once tabloids make a scoop that an idol singer is actually dating some dude while claiming single status officially, the fundamentalists go mad and quit being a fan, and instead start a trash talk about them on the Internet. Yes, they are like a unicorn, probably a caricature of purists like Puritans or Islam fundamentalists. But I’m not a purist. Well, I don’t care about virginity actually. I don’t care whether girls actually had sexual experience or not. As long as they pretend to be a virgin, it’s all good.
Virgin is otome, oh yes, maiden, shōjo (少女)! Shōjo/otome best suits an eternal 17 years old shōnen like me. Shōjo is the life stage of pre-capitalist defilement. Yes, before going fully into 3D (reality), and capitalism is the reality. Yes, “real” world.
And the greatest virgin in the human history is Virgin Mary, the protector of yuri. And the Garden of virgins, that is the Lillian All Girls Academy. Oh, yes, otome no sono (乙女の園) is the Garden of Eden! Otomeness is virginness. Virgin Mary is the eternal virgin. That’s why I worship the Virgin, so my kind of shojochuu is “the Virgin worship” rather than “virgin-mania.” So, when Misaki from Welcome To NHK was self-consoling, she moaned, “The Lord is watching.” But mine would be, “Maria-sama ga miteru (The Lady is watching)!”
I don’t care whether the Virgin was a real virgin, since a virgin can’t beget children. Yes, we have artificial insemination now, so virgin birth is possible today, but in the era Christ lived it was impossible. So, our Lady wasn’t a virgin actually when she gave birth to Jesus. But that doesn’t matter at all to me. Same goes for girls, I don’t care if girls are really virgins, but as long as they act like a virgin, my moetical desire will be fulfilled. Yes. Like a virgin~♪ Yes, what I seek is a spiritual virgin rather than a biological virgin. All I care is virginness, not virginity. So I don’t care if a Samaritan woman had five husbands and was even having an extra-marital relationship at the same time. I don’t care Sonya Marmeladova was a prostitute. As long as she acts like otome, then she is an otome! Yes, eternal otome, in Goethe’s words, “eternal feminine.” Yes, 永貞童女 (eitei-dōjo “eternal virgin”), thus, just like 17 forever, OTOME FOREVER!
And undoubtedly, the ultimate otomeness is yuri! Because there’s no filthy dude involved. So, they’ve never been deflowered. Otherwise, for a misandrist like me, that would be a nightmare. Girl’s sexual experience is equivalent to ryōjoku (陵辱 “rape”). I know this sounds crazy, I mean for girls, sex must be a great experience, but for me, I can’t help but take it as a rape. Any sex with a dude is like a rape to me. So, “when was her first time?” sounds “when did she get raped?” in my ears. I know it’s totally illogical, but my brain automatically interprets like that as a shojochuu otaku.
It’s similar to a psychological state of that soshokukei protagonist from Dazai Osamu’s novel Ningen-Shikkaku (人間失格 “failed as human”), where his eternal virgin was raped. She wasn’t a virgin actually, but to him, she was an eternal virgin. So, that was a traumatic event and also the climax of the novel.
Oscar Wilde famously said, “Men want to be a woman’s first love, while women want to be a man’s last romance.” But I don’t care if I’m the first or last of a girl’s sexual partner. Even Samantha Jones is fine.
And it’s different from NTR (netorare “taken away by sleeping with”) since I don’t possess any girls at all. Who am I to own them? Droit du seigneur? Patriarchism is already dead. And sex is okay as long as it’s not a dude. In other words, if a girl’s first time was with a girl, everything is exempt. Nobody is deflowered. Nothing is defiled. Purity is still intact. How do girls get defiled from sex? Because the defiler is the defiled gender! Dudes are so defiled. So, in my head, the word “deflowerment” translates into “defilement.” Since the dude’s filthiest part is the one to deflower.
That’s why I’m autophobic or self-loathing since I’m a defiled being. Yes, I loathe dudes and myself as a dude at the same time, that’s the fate of being the defiled and defiling gender. So, phallophobia, autophobia, and misandry go together. That’s why I wanted to purify myself by enrolling in all girls schools, especially a mission-kei school! That would’ve been my river of Jordan! That was the only way I could cleanse my filth called “sin,” or klesa in Sanskrit. Yes, sin = filth, sinner = defiler. But I’m not a high school boy anymore. The opportunity has simply passed. Baptism wouldn’t work as long as I’m a dude. So, the ultimate atonement would be gender-bending in 2D like Kashimashi~Girl Meets Girl. How I wish I was an otome…
That’s why otome is so appealing. Otome is the only one who can purify me. Yes, why are lolis so appealing? Same reason. A loli is totally defilement free. 純粋無垢 (junsui-muku “pure-undefiled”).
Ahh, Nakata Sae from Amagami, she was indeed very junsui-muku otome. When I was watching her arc, many otakus started apologizing to her, “I’m sorry that I’m this defiled. I don’t deserve to go out with you.” See, this is the evidence that dudes are so defiled! They’re aware of it. So, the last resort is to be an unrepentant perorist. Yes, on 2D otomes in LCD, we go “peropero!” Yes, quiet desperation is the English way, but nymphet desperation is the Otaku way!