Otaku in the mirror Part 3, Misogyny

What an Otaku believes

So, what’s wrong with 3-D girls? Well, they don’t ask out a guy with the same social class. They are always looking for more powerful man, a man with higher status. Just like a monkey world; females want to copulate with the alpha male. And too bad, this applies to a yokai-girl also. I was watching Otome Yokai Zakuro, and Zakuro, a cute foxy girl, swooned over Lt. Hanadate. He is the boss of her project partner, Kei Agemaki. In turn Kei never becomes her romantic object. It’s like Dana Scully never sees Fox Mulder as her potential boyfriend. Zakuro acts exactly like an ordinary 3-D girl even though she is a 2-D girl. Too bad! What’s the purpose of 2-D then! Making me sigh, “Another 3-D girl again.”

Lt. Hanadate on horse makes an appearance. Should I learn horse riding?

Why are girls like that? Why do they get swooned easily by the rich, powerful dudes? It’s absurd. Do I like a girl with higher status? Sure I do, but I really don’t care if she’s rich or poor. Why does that matter? I get swooned easily regardless of her social status!

Oh boy, girls in our league take too long to enter a relationship. They spend at least three months to judge if a guy she’s dating is her Mr. Right. Dating prior to relationship is like three months trial period before employment. It’s simply too long. Before all that jazz, I would have nervous breakdown. Emotional cost is too high. I’m sensing that Zakuro’s case would be more than three months to actually get together with Kei.

Why wait? The world might end tomorrow. Haven’t they heard of 2012? Don’t they feel a sense of urgency? Why do they want to postpone? Why don’t they make the first move? Why not in a hurry? Why passive? I never get it! Don’t they realize the world is impermanent by reading Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha? A flower generation’s bible!

Feeling urgent!

However, when they see a rich powerful dude, they suddenly feel urgent. That’s the only time when they get aggressively quick like ladies from the Bachelor series. When Prince Harry was visiting the Ground Zero in NYC, surprisingly there were a herd of young women swarming over. I don’t think these girls came all the way from the country to New York to mourn the 9/11 victims, but just to see the Prince. That’s more than “making the first move”! And one girl was interviewed by an ABC reporter, something like, “What will you do with your current boyfriend if His Highness asks you to marry him today?” She answered without any hesitation, “Oh, I will dump him right away, lol.” That was really scary. Indeed the scariest statement I’ve ever heard in my life. Isn’t royalty/aristocracy contrary to our democracy? We need another revolution! It’s nothing different from a monkey mountain like Saruyama! The alpha male gets all women. Winner-takes-all. But aren’t we supposed to have evolved from the apes?

Ah, Zakuro, why do you act like a typical 3-D girl?
This is rif@ckingdiculously BS.
Swooned by an ikemen with high status...sigh.

I don’t know what to believe. Only a fool still believes in 3-D girls. That’s what a fool believes. And of course, I’m a fool. Yes, I’m an otaku, keep getting hurt so turn to 2-D girls, but somewhere in my heart still wishes that they would someday answer my prayer and hold my hand. Well, 3-D girls were much better during the 70s, so I’m not all against 3-D girls.

In fact, girls in the 70s, they were awesome. I’ve been hearing from people who enjoyed youth in the 70s that it only took three days for girls to be in a relationship. THREE DAYS! But right now, girls make us wait at least three months. From 3 days to 3 months. That’s insane. Isn’t evolution supposed to be happening? It’s been 30 years since the 70s, but girls are devolving instead of evolving. It’s degenerative. Why do they stop evolving?

Well, by national average girls earn only 76 cents if men earn a dollar. That’s why girls can’t take the initiative. They can’t ask men out, because whoever asks out has to pay. Men earn more than women, so in a dating scene, men have to pay everything. That’s also the reason why girls find the rich dudes super-attractive. It’s this economical reason that women are held back from evolving. Gender disparity is the culprit! What we need are revolution and evolution!

That’s why I figured they acted like that because they were told to do so by the machismo mainstream media of USA. So, I went to a couple of feminist rallies to help overthrow machismo.

Yet, I also figure it takes really a long time to do so. It might take another 40 years, just like it took almost 40 years from MLK’s martyrdom to the first black president of the United States. So by the time we dismantle machismo, I would be too old by then. Who would date an old geezer on a wheelchair? Only a caregiver will come talk to you and change your diapers. I rather die if I become like that. I can’t put up with that misery. But nobody can escape aging unless you die young. 3-D is too harsh.

It’s too tragic that I’m no longer 17 years old. Ah, how I wish I could be immortal, gain eternal youth, 17 forever…


Since my adolescent years, treated like subhuman by 3-D girls, I thought I would become a misogynist. But I’m not. I mean I try to avoid them as much as possible. I try not to look at them. But they are the only one I can’t really hate. Just a little accidental eye contact, their beauty captivates me. Even though they’ve hurt me and cornered me to go to hell.  Failing to have a mutual feeling with a girl is the most painful thing on earth. But at the same time I know success to have a mutual feeling with a girl is the happiest thing on earth. Yet I still can’t…

So, jealousy has been killing me. Whenever I see a girl taken, walking holding hands at shopping malls or beaches, my heart suffers from the first degree burn, especially when they’re having skinship with each other, so called flirting in public. I also want to have myself touched by girls. Rub my back, caress my forearms, fondle my hair, hold my hand, hug me, kiss me softly. Yes, what I need is skinship! I always want to be touched, or I want to touch them, mutual touching, but no girl agrees to be touchy in a romantic way, so out of desperation I touch myself. Yes, “my current girlfriend is my right hand.” That is the most tragic line I’ve ever heard from otakus on Niconico doga.

Yes, my current girlfriend is my right hand...

Therefore, my life remains the same, even though I strongly believed in change two years ago. After the election, I really hoped that girls would have become as libertine as women in the 70s, but I’ve been disillusioned. So, I can’t face reality as I can’t face the mirror. Yes, what you see in the mirror is reality. It’s better not to expect anything. I learned a tough lesson two years ago. No movement would change 3-D. America, or NAFTA, is 3-D after all. It’s dystopia. Why engage in reality? So, instead I’ve chosen a moetical paradise since USA is the Paradise Lost. As an indigo child, I have nowhere to turn to.

Moexodus. That’s the only answer I have… Moses crossed the Red Sea to search his Promised Land. I crossed the Pacific to search my Promised Land. Yes, the Promised Land, the mountain top MLK had been to.  Now, I’m crossing the 2-D Con (pronounced “niji-kon”) just like Crossing the Rubicon, from 3-D to 2-D.

Author: Monsieur LaMoe

A refugee from Japan. Live in NAFTA. Get hooked on Moe. Moe is opium? Twitter: @MonsieurLamoe

35 thoughts on “Otaku in the mirror Part 3, Misogyny

  1. On the off chance that this is meant to be a serious post (because honestly, I’m not sure how anyone could post something so misguided), I’d say that the first step that needs to be done is divest oneself of the ego-fears. When I say ego-fears, I mean the layer of self-doubt that holds you back from doing what you truly want to do because of fears of rejection or failure. Fears that, I might add, should not have that strong of a basis since only your ego gets hurt when you get hit with rejection or failure. Beyond that, you’re still a functional human being, still in good health. It’s not like losing a leg.

    So my suggestion: go out there and get rejected. If you’re letting that bit of fear get in the way, then it’ll only serve as an obstacle and may even cause you to blame things outside your control without you even making an attempt to fix what is actually in the realm of your control. And you have more control than you think.

    Also, if you’re not getting rejected or facing failure too often, it means you’re not trying hard enough in life.

    1. @zzeroparticle

      Thanks for the advice. Good choice of word, ego-fears, or autophobia. I completely understand your point; it’s nothing like losing a leg or go crippled. Plus nobody gets hurt other than me, the earth will keep revolving even without me. It’s nothing to make a big fuss about. But, ego-hurt might lead to suicide, like Young Werther. Mind is as fragile as body. SNAGS or soshokukei like indigo children are hypersensitive to criticism and rejection. It’s unbearable to them. Unless if it’s a sure thing like 2-D, anxiety and phobia will run them over.

      One way is to avoid women all together. An extreme case might be to live in monastery. Or become a social withdrawal, shut yourself down from the world, and completely immerse in 2-D. One is voluntary celibate and the other is involuntary celibate. Yet, even hermits still need to get out and come down to a town to beg, borrow, or steal food. And there you see an attractive nubile girl with aceptando-todos-smile at Starbucks. Then, emotional turmoil starts again. Catch 22, so to speak…

  2. The problem is, for what i do understand reading all his many posts, by the way great reading as always keep the good work, that he didnt had the chance to be rejected, in the proper way, i mean in order to been rejected you need to make an attempt ,or been allowed to make and attempt of any kind, but not here, he is not even allow to make a move, the 3D women act like he doenst exist, no sorry worst than that , he is treated by women like he is the lowest thing avaible on the market and doenst deserve a look, this is stabilsh by sociaty trends and the way it is, i do understand him i went trough the same, but i think there is an especial lady for him that doesnt follow the sociaty trends, maybe and otaku girl 8D.

    By the way you stated the 2012 thing, i saw in the discovery channel that someone is making a time machine manipulating light, because according with the Eisntein Theory, Light affects time and matter, and it hits me the though that maybe, the reason for why is the time pass by so quickly this days is because there is some of light coming from the center of the galaxy that it is affecting time, so maybe nostradamus and the mayas were right about it. what do you think?

    1. @ManuOtaku

      Man, you hit the nail on the head. “the lowest thing available on the market” I thought I wasn’t even in the market. I was transparent. Lowest yet still available. lol. Market fundamentalism, everything is judged in the market, by the market, of the market, for the market. Yup, otaku girl…

      Really? That’s interesting. Time machine. Is that possible? Yes, we only got until 2012, so I think time is pretty short, so from that viewpoint, time seems very quick. Though I feel time is taking forever when I’m waiting a call or text or email from a girl…from my romantic point of view. 8D The Dogon of Mali knew about the existence of Orion’s Sirius B way before we invented telescope, so the Mayans might be right. I don’t know exactly what’s gonna happen in 2012, but let’s see if the Mayans and NostraDamus were right about it. I hope it would be a good thing instead of a global disaster. Politically, that’s the year of presidential race too. Palin vs Obama might bring a political disaster?

  3. We are defined by trial and error. To train, and improve, is to hurt. Only a select few are treated with simple pleasures, while the rest of us must work for it. Fair trade considering how empty the alternative is.

    1. @Wintermuted

      Thank you for the comment. Only a select few, isn’t that what aristocracy is all about? The rest of us must engage in labor like a slave? Since 1776, we’ve secured the privilege of noble class by revolution, overthrowing them, thus bringing freedom and democracy. What we need is democracy in romance, so our lives would be romantic comedy. Revolution is not making everybody slave but everybody noble.

  4. It seems that we have been thinking very similar things! I just wrote a post over at Behind the Nihon Review talking about my theory of what a tsundere is; I think in the end a lot of otaku are really comparing 2D to 3D girls (like when they use the word tsundere). The girls that I think tend to be the most popular are those that fall in love with 1.) an unnamed protagonist (like those from games like Kimikiss/Amagami) or 2.) those that don’t have a romantic male interest in the anime they’re a part of. Basically, like you said, Zakuro acts like a 3D girl when it comes to romance. However, someone like Mio from K-On! doesn’t have the same problem since there exists no male protagonist for them to latch on to.

    By the way, I disagree with your idea that just because humans are evolved, it means we should be different from apes! Precisely because we have descended from apes, we have taken a lot of their courtship and mating rituals to the next level! Relationships are both emotional and physical, and, even if the emotional part is certainly “human” and different from apes, the physical part is part of our shared DNA. Thus, when it comes to mating, I think us humans should acknowledge what apes do, and likewise be comfortable with the fact that men and women look for certain “ideal” marriage partners. There’s nothing wrong with that.

    Just because someone isn’t part of the ideal mate (to continue using the biological terms), it doesn’t mean one has to despair. It just means that we all have to work harder to try and find the perfect partner (be it male, female, both, neuter, or whatever) for ourselves!

    1. @Kylaran

      Thank you very much for writing a well-thought comment. I deeply appreciate it.

      Right, we always compare 2-D girls to 3-D girls, and end up in lamentation. “Unnamed” is good point, since you’re the main character. And the latter’s ultimate form is Yuri, especially Maria-Sama Ga Miteru, the most divine anime I’ve ever seen. A follow-up can be Strawberry Panic! K-On, Ikamusume, Azumanga, yeah, these are cute.

      Well, of course, I know biologically we’re primates, but I find it extremely hard to accept that awful truth. I can’t imagine a girl sharing the same trait with a hairy female chimpanzee eating flees from her nasty hands being used for cleaning her armpits. I rather have a foxy girl like Zakuro than a female ape!

      But, here’s the difference between you and me: I should say we have yet to reach the next level that we’re supposed to be at. Girls in general still prefer men with violent abusive qualities ( girls call it “mischievous”) , and rich, powerful, high status. If women have more money and violent men evolve out, these would disappear. Soshokukei boys would have a better life. It’s insane that 1 out of 4 Japanese young men from the age of 20 – 34 never had any girlfriend or sexual experience, i.e., skinship. Simply madness!

      Let me read your tsundere thesis and leave a comment on your blog.

  5. I think it’s a mistake to generalize as you do. I maintain that the girls that run after the nobility and aristocracy et al. are not the girls that you should be interested in. There are plenty of girls who stayed home and payed their respects to the 9/11 victims in their own way. And I would consider a person like that more desirable than one who goes out running after the prince simply because he’s a prince.

    I also continue to find it hard if not impossible to believe that having a romantic relationship with a girl is as vital to psychic well-being as you claim. It just seems to me like this is the solution that you have ascribed to all of your problems. I would propose that, when confronted with problems you have with yourself, you decided that the explanation for this was that girls never payed you any mind. This is true, at least in some part; because girls, an object of your desire, never acknowledged you, that left you frustrated and feeling worthless. As those feelings spiraled and snowballed, you got to the point you find yourself at today. But, I think that having relations with a girl is not actually as important as you say it is. I think that life is livable without a girlfriend (I’m managing to enjoy life pretty well even though I have never had one). I think that life can even be GOOD without a girlfriend. Think of the Buddha; he didn’t need a girl to help him reach Nirvana. He was able to get there without any skinship, sitting by himself under the fig tree (he did not even need a right hand). This would suggest that girls are not indispensable to living a good life, it is only your thinking that has made it so.

    I sometimes wonder if your angst is really more about a lack of skinship and connection with other humans or if it’s just about sex. Most of the time, you talk about how it’s a relationship that you’re after, and the lack of which which is killing you, but sometimes your manner of speaking surprises me. When you talk about “your girlfriend being your right hand” or romanticize how easy it was to have sex with a woman in the 70s, that era of great sexual revolution when women (again, only some women, there were a lot of housewives that stayed home from Woodstock) considered playing the field to be no less slutty than it is for men, it would seem to imply that sex is at the root of these things. I would warn against thinking of a girlfriend as simply serving the same purpose that your right hand has been serving you.

    I don’t mean to tear you down, I just disagree with you a lot. I’m rooting for you, it’s just that I have ways that I think are more likely to work than the ones you’re currently employing.

    The power, as always, is yours.

    1. @Multiball

      Thank you very much for writing a comment. How grateful to read your awesome comment.

      Well, it was a huge disappointment that Zakuro was one of these typical 3-D girls, chasing after the prince or celebrities. That’s why I came up with this article, cuz I really thought Zakuro was cute, she could be my moetical girl, but my ideal was completely ruined. Truly shocking…

      How awesome you brought up Gautama Buddha, or formerly known as Prince Siddhartha, Crown Prince of Sakya Kingdom. I totally got your point, and I think you’re analytically correct, but I must put my own perspective different from yours.

      I watched Little Buddha, a kind of autobiographic film of Buddha played by Keanu Reeves. Yes, Siddhartha was exactly like today’s Prince Harry. He had a crowd of frantic young girls chasing after him, throwing flowers at him when he was leading the parade on a white horse. He also had his own summer palace full of courtesans/entertainers, and he spent there having orgy every rainy season. But one night after orgy, he suddenly got disgusted with everything and that’s the very moment when he decided to renounce his royal entitlement and went on to ascetic life. So, my point is, he was a winner, a selected few, the alpha male, a prince charming that Zakuro must have been chasing after. So he can’t really speak for me. Jesus might since he was from the folks.

      Well, who can have your own resort with full of hot girls catering sexual service exclusively just for yourself every night? Jeez, Siddhartha must have slept with thousands of girls. So, actually his past sexual experience helped him reach Nirvana. Because if he didn’t have this super-privileged life that 99% of men would never get to have, he wouldn’t even have thought about becoming an ascetic beggar. Skinship overdose made him Buddha! So, a witty pickup line would be, “Let’s overdose ourselves with skinship, so we can attain enlightenment together.”

      My gf is my right hand.” This line is not my original idea but a recurring self-depreciating comment on Niconico Doga, a popular site among Japanese otakus. Kind of youtube, but more advanced. You see I put the image of Nakata Sae from Amagami asking “Do you have a gf?” And one of the comments says in Japanese, “Yes. My current gf is my right hand…” The important thing here to note is that otakus are not depreciating women, but depreciating themselves with humor.

      Yes, skinship is at the root of samsara. And monks pursue liberation from samsara by giving up skinship. Samsara = 3-D. Through skinship, you feel you’re connected to the world, but without it, you feel alienated, thus becoming 2-D Complex. Buddhists strive for voluntary alienation, but Otakus suffer from involuntary alienation.

      Thank you for rooting for me. I appreciate that. As long as you’re happy without skinship, that’s great! I have nothing against that! That’s really awesome! As a resident of the land of free, I have my own pursuit of happiness: from here to eternity, i.e., from 3-D to 2-D.

  6. 1. We, in America, are having trouble believing that you might be writing seriously in these posts. There’s still a part of me that believes you’re putting on an act. Nonetheless, your arguments are internally consistent and logical, given the assumptions that you make. So, kudos, on your logic.

    2. You would have been better off raised in America. These assumptions that you make about yourself and about others are not assumptions that most Americans would make, which is fortunate for the Americans. Japan is a good example of a country with insufficient numbers of trained counselors and psychologists. Perhaps America should export some of theirs to Japan? We appear to have a glut.

    3. A parable: there was once a fox that saw some beautiful delicious grapes hanging from the vine. The fox wanted to eat the grapes, but it could not do so because it couldn’t jump high enough. So the fox turned his back to the grapes and said, “these grapes suck! They must be sour!”

    This parable is an example of a sour grapes argument. I.e. You are the fox. The grapes are the attractive teenage girls that you would like to eat. Since you cannot get at the grapes, you’ve turned your back to them. You rationalize your decision with a sour grapes argument. Do you understand?

    1. @Marigold Ran

      Thank you for writing me the comment. I’m not trying to be logical or anything intellectual since I’m just a simple person happens to be an otaku. I just want to share my otaku experience with people out there such as you. But thanks for kudos anyway.

      Oh, America, the land of free, and I’m a part of America, an amalgam of people and cultures from all over the world, though some see me as foreign, but depends on which part of America you’re at and who you meet. I don’t expect you or anybody to agree with me or understand me, but if you at least get to have an idea of what’s like to be an otaku living in America, or should I say NAFTA, from my humble writings, that’s all good for me. More or less I’ve been getting positive feedbacks from my fellow otakus. So it’s very encouraging, and I’m been thankful for that.

      I agree I would have been better off raised in America. Japan is a first-nail-gets-hammered society. Individual expression is frowned upon, not explicitly but implicitly, so-called KY (kuuki-yome) bullsh@t. I don’t know about the number of psychiatrists in Japan, but I know Japan needs more lawyers. Japan could import lawyers, but the problem is the language barrier.

      Yes. I got you. You’re a smarty. Yet, let me put my own take. A sour grapes parable is rather like this: A foxy girl like Zakuro, she thinks to herself that the grapes on a higher step of the ladder must be better, because it’s positioned higher. The grapes on the same step as hers must be sour, bad, or inedible, just because it’s positioned at the same level or lower though actually all the grapes taste just the same regardless of its position. Well, my case is like this: I tasted the grapes and found it bitter, so I went to try the pomegranates (“Zakuro” in Japanese), but turned out to be another bitter fruit…Zakuro was bitter, thus my article came out bitter. But instead of guns and religion, I cling to moe, our amrita, the fruit of life.

      Note: I don’t see teenagers as potential romantic partners.

  7. I might have been a little harsh there. You’d make a wonderful writer, and I enjoy reading your posts, but first you’ve got to resolve your issues. Get started on it now. I advise getting a job.

    1. Well, I don’t know why you “assumed” that I haven’t got a job. But, thank you for reading my articles, and I’m glad that you enjoyed. I deeply appreciate it.

  8. As always, I deeply enjoy reading Monsieur LaMoe’s posts. Partly because he is so well-read and erudite and works in all kinds of amazingly keen academic observations about behavior, life, and anime — but also because no matter how glum I feel at times, at least I don’t feel quite like that.

    I don’t want to offer any advice. First of all, my advice certainly wouldn’t be any good. Secondly, if any advice were by chance useful, then he would be too busy with his girlfriend to write these amazing articles and would lack his artistic angst.

    1. @DojiStar

      Thank you for the comment. I’m glad that you enjoy my writings. Well, I’m just an otaku living thru American experience, but thank you very much for the compliment.

      Ah, no advice… so would I have to live as an eternal single, without any skinship? That’s too sad, now I have to play LovePlus…

  9. You imply in your response that you have a job.

    Do you have job?

    You imply in your response that you’ve been dumped by a girlfriend. In order for the implication to be true, two criteria must be met:

    1. You had a girlfriend.
    2. This girlfriend dumped you.

    Is criteria 1 true? Is criteria 2 true?

    1. @Marigold Ran

      No I didn’t. You assumed I haven’t got a job, and I was merely wondering why you did that.

      Again, I wonder what made you assume I’ve been dumped by 3-D girls instead of rejected.

      Anyway, that’s off topic.

  10. 1. Smart people believe in stereotypes BY CHOICE because, on average, stereotypes are accurate. (Uneducated people believe in stereotypes because they don’t know any better. Educated people who lack critical thinking skills try to not believe in stereotypes because that’s what they’ve been told).

    Of course, I said on average. In my guesses, based on stereotyping, I’ll be wrong 40% of the time, but I’ll be right the other 60%, which is better than the 50-50 accuracy ratio of people who don’t believe in stereotypes.

    2. I was being charitable. I had assumed that you had managed to get a girlfriend, but unfortunately this assumption was incorrect. If a person gets rejected by girls, there are three options:

    a. “Meh.”
    b. “I should change my lifestyle and marketing skills to improve the chances of not getting rejected.”
    c. GIRLS SUCK!!!!

  11. These assumptions I make are based on the stuff that you have written. But since we don’t have anything else to go on, we may as well make fun of you for it.

  12. Oh yes, I forgot two other possibilities:

    d. Perhaps I’m gay!!!
    e. Perhaps she’s gay!!!!

    Choice d and e opens up all sorts of interesting possibilities to consider, though in different ways.

    1. @Marigold,

      That is funny. Although Yuri is my favorite genre.

      That assumption is not exact. Girls don’t suck, it’s the 3-D world that makes them like that. 3D is what really sucks. I’ve already confessed that I can’t be a misogynist in the middle of the writing. A fool still believes in them.

      Thus, I try to change 3-D so that girls would accept me. But facing the status quo, I am disillusioned and escaping to 2-D. Simple as that.

      I’m a simple person with 17 years old high school kid’s brain venting out my suffering. You’re too intelligent and sophisticated to engage in the writings of a simpleton.

      Anyway, this is way too off topic. So, we shall end this dialogue right here.

      Thank you very much for the comments!

  13. The only thing I disagree about in this post is the notion that Zakura prefers Lt. Hanabate vs Lt Agemaki. You said it was because Lt. Hanabate was of a higher station. I’ve only watched up to Episode 3 but it seems that Lt. Agemaki would have been in a similar social position as the son of a general. Its just that he’s a cowardly bum that makes him unattractive to Zakuro. I think that is a common reaction from women who probably due to evolutionary origins prefer “stronger” (read: braver/manlier mates) and thus the reaction towards Lt. Hanabate. Its hardly, he has more money I’ma gonna jump his bones.

    1. @Sirf_palot

      Thank you very much for the comment. I would say that their socioeconomic family background might be, but their world is strictly military, the fact that Lt. Hanadate is a superior officer to Kei. Appearing on horse tells us something.

      Yes, I agree, I think that’s part of the reason why 3-D girls like Zakuro react like that due to too slow evolution. Kei is actually a brave person, since his kindness is the bravest, and I really hope Zakuro will eventually come to realize that. It’s sad that it takes too long for her to realize, just like in real life (3-D), before girls realize that, they’re already swooned and taken by alpha males appear to be “stronger”(read: more violent/abusive, manly=dominant sadistic quality praised by machismo). Tora-san from Otoko Wa Tsurai Yo is a typical tragic example. Braveness not from quest for dominance but from kindness is the bravest of all.

  14. Women go for stronger men NOT because they are “mischievous” and CERTAINLY NOT because they are abusive (where in the world did you get this idea!?).

    Men who know what they want, are obviously passionate and have skill are wonderful and yes, very attractive.

    You’re upset over being rejected (or not having any courage to go up to any women and therefore taking yourself out of the game before it’s even begun) is not due to women. Check yourself, check your ways. Do you appear confident when approaching women? Are you actually confident?

    Are you overly insistent? (Instant “creepy vibe” given by the “3 months” complaint.) A woman (not a girl) wants to feel safe, and wants to take her time choosing a life-long mate.

    Do you just want to get laid? If so, go after those “3 day” girls. In my opinion, they are also very creepy. Know those gals in yuri anime that are all stalkerish and it’s sorta funny when in 2-D form? Hate to say it, but that translates horribly into real life and isn’t hot at all to the one being stalked. Overly aggressive and persistent people, even if they are quiet and distant about it (it’s possible and perhaps even more frightening to the non-violent upfront ones) give off “oh, hell no!” vibes pretty strong. I can’t imagine a man being attracted to a woman like that, but perhaps I’m incorrect.

    “The 70’s.” Aka; the time when women began being more sexually promiscuous and found that using their bodies allowed them to advance a bit higher towards the “glass ceiling” which they were now allowed to take a glimpse of. Also the decade before the massive spread of worldwide aids. Oh, a great time I’m sure.

    I too was unsure if you were being serious? It seems you are and I find that to be very sad. To even compare the 2-D character with a 3-D person… there’s no point. It’s comparing apples to oranges. (More like a picture of an apple with an actual apple.)

    A real woman who believes in herself will not sleep around (unless she wants to/is into no-strings-attached relationships, but don’t expect her to go for a man who is unsure of himself unless she’s got a fetish for that and certainly don’t expect a relationship out of it) and will not jump from partner to partner.

    Take this from a 3-D woman; otakus have more of a chance than they know, though they’ve got to believe in themselves and seriously, the creepy weird vibes are a huge turn off. (At best, it’ll put you into the “friend” category. At worst, it puts you in the “avoid at all costs” category.) It’s not meant to be taken as an offense, I’m really REALLY frustrated too…only I’m annoyed with you male otakus. Grow a pair and believe in yourself. Also; treat yourself like you actually love yourself. It’s not arrogance, it’s confidence that women (at least “I”) am drawn to.

    The simple things help; it seems like maybe (perhaps I’m shooting myself in the foot by this statement) you are depressed? Sadly, that’s not hot either and won’t attract a healthy relationship. Take care of yourself inside and out, and never give up that a real 3-D woman is out there for you. Don’t stress so much about it and be so “gloom and doom.” Certainly, NEVER make a post trying to say that women are morons who only go for meatheads. The hottest thing in the world next to confidence is a big juicy brain (non-zombie).

    PS; damn straight the more a person looks healthy (and therefore “attractive”) the more women will go after them. I want a healthy partner, don’t have to be the healthiest…ask those who know me, I love my burgers and I love my curry pan… but I also enjoy being active. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t seem active at all? Why would I want someone who obviously doesn’t wash their face or brush their teeth or take any exercise (even a walk or bike ride) at all? I don’t. I don’t want to be trapped with someone who is all doom-and-gloom, sitting in a dark room with only the tv lit while they stare at it and say “why can’t women be like that?” Uh, because that’s not reality, and your reality isn’t one I want. *is not a chobit* I never will be. At best, I’ll cosplay as one and walk around a con as one, because that is fun to do though no, I will not nod and smile and giggle with someone who doesn’t even love themselves.

    Aye, take care of yourself and good luck finding love (within you and without you).

    1. @shika

      Creepy vibes? Why questioning “3 months” gives you creepy vibes? What makes girl feel that otakus got creepy weird vibes? Well, Sadako (sawako) from Kimi Ni Todoke got that kind of vibe also, but who cares. I find her attractive; I can go out with her, no problem. She is just shy but very kind indeed, because of her sensitiveness, she is unconventional, but that’s about it. Sensitivity is good, it translates to “caring” personality. Otakus are very sensitive to their surroundings, they always want to help out people, they are the one who will make donations to volunteer organizations, but somehow shunned by their peer groups. Otakus are no way dangerous creeps posing a threat to our community like gangs, mafias, rapists, and terrorists. Negative otaku stereotypes are held by people who have long been brainwashed by the mainstream media picking on just one criminal who happened to be an otaku and blowing it up like a balloon and painting us with just one brush stroke. Actually otakus are one of the most peaceful people on earth you can find and feel safe to be around. We are not creeps. I will say it again, WE ARE NOT CREEPS! Yet, peer groups have been harsh on us. Yet, I can still put up with them, though they slander my name all over the place, I can still manage to survive, it’s nothing new, but getting shunned (avoided at all costs) by girls…, that’s the time when you really feel lonely, hopeless, and become suicidal, your existence seems worthless. Thus, you really want to escape from reality.

      Looking back at my school days in Japan, yes, they all thought I was a creep even though I was a good person. Why do people with a kind heart have to be treated like that? So unfair. It was really tough to live there. I don’t want to go back. The memory is too painful. Unless I want to visit Akiba.

      But two years ago, someone appeared like a comet to change the cruel 3-D world. I really thought he was the messiah we had been waiting for…

      1. Thank you for writing me a lot. It was like reading your article from your own perspective. It was precious. I really appreciate it. I like to read and learn more about female otakus in America. I feel bad for making you sad. I didn’t intend to make anyone sad by my article, I just want people to have an idea of what is like to be a male heterosexual otaku living in America, at least from my perspective and experience. That’s the main purpose of my humble writings.

        Let me just clarify few stuffs;

        I never thought girls were morons. I’m not a misogynist. I have supported feminism adamantly, I’ve even gone to several rallies, marching with them carrying placards. I really want them to be powerful, independent, and dismantle machismo that has chained them for ages.

        I agree with you on rejection, it isn’t due to women, but society that conditioned them to act that way. It’s not the question of my confidence, but the world around me. How the world has treated me.

        I’m not asking girls to be stalkers but at least make the first move. Show interest and walk up and start talking. Why wait until a boy makes the move? Why always have to be the guys that take the initiative and pay everything? Why passive? This is the 21st century. The age of equality. It shouldn’t be wrong that men even become house-husbands. In order to make that come true, we have to solve gender disparity.

        I wish the world was STD free. STD such as AIDS makes people sexophobic. This leads to abstinence education, and it’s just recent that the church has revised its position on condom use. And worst is homophobia, such as DADT, and ban on gay marriage. 3-D is harsh.

        I’m more “Saudade,” rather than “depressed,” a Brazilian word for “melancholy.” The concept I learned from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Yes, like Haruhi.

        We can always compare reality with our ideal. Then, we can strive toward the goal. MLK’s “I have a dream” speech was exactly an ideal, yes, 2-D, and then America (3-D) strives to be that ideal set by MLK. So we otakus definitely know what we want.

        “Love yourself.” Not really a right advice: Nobody loves you, so love yourself. No girl makes love to you, so make love to yourself. No girl touches you, so touch yourself. It doesn’t work that way. Salvation is not to love yourself, but be loved. Thus, girls have a tremendous power to make otakus love themselves. If not in 3-D, then 2-D, from here to eternity.

        Anyway, thank you for writing and warm-hearted input.

  15. Dear Sir,
    I don’t know what I could mention at this point that hasn’t already been monologued about at length, but the simple fact of the matter is that, whether or not we otaku like it, the 2D world is entirely, 100% a manifestation of the 3D world. Of the hopes, values, desires, idealizations, implications, etc. that cannot be expressed in 3D. The good news, though, is that through people like you and me, some of that manifestation is reflected back into that 3D world, thereby influencing it to be more moe just by virtue of us EXISTING. I mean, I won’t go out and say that I’m a devoted otaku by any means; hell, I probably fall closer to the designation of nikushokukei than a lot of people who frequent here, but I like to think that all of my friends whom I’ve introduced to anime are benefited/more thoughtful for the experience. For someone like you, who has moe flowing through your veins like a second blood, if you’d forgive me the quasi-sophism, the people you come into contact with are SURELY influenced by this. Now, of course, all of this rhetoric escapes the heart of the issue – your thwarted desire for romantic attention. Well, the simple fact of the matter is that 2D girls will, in some respects, ALWAYS be better than 3D girls. Why? Because they were designed that way. Are they better, in general, for EVERYONE? In my opinion, no. A 2D girl cannot do all of the things that I want to do with a girl. I can’t have an unpredictable conversation with her, I can’t teach her to do things that I like, I can’t smell her, I can’t have actual sex with a 2D girl, no matter how attractive she is or how much I pretend, and I can’t lie under the stars, talking about things that make us laugh and cry, feeling her warm body next to mine and listening to her heartbeat. It’s just not possible, or at least, I don’t believe it is. The other thing is that, unlike 2D, 3D girls are scared of rejection as well. They don’t want to be hurt, and there is the societal benefit of men traditionally making the first move. Whether that’s right or wrong (personally, I myself enjoy asking girls out because it’s satisfying and, if done properly, even rejection rarely means complete or permanent failure), it’s the way things are. Fortunately, with the number of girls out there, there’s at least ONE, and in all likelihood many more, who would like a guy like you, and who you would be attracted to back! So, in summary, I’d like to say
    1. Your otaku-ness, if I may, is independent from your fear of women. You’re a person, who is both an otaku and afraid of women.
    2. There are girls out there who would like you, and more importantly who you would like back! Realize it! You’ll never meet them if you don’t sift through people, get rejected, make friendships, get rejected, etc. Yes, it sucks…but it’s not that bad. Let’s be honest. What sucks more, being an observer, or getting rejected a few times?
    3. “Macho”, oftentimes, is just a front. ANYONE can be “macho”. I’m a scrawny, acne-ridden 5’5″ Asian kid with back problems who likes guns – from my perspective. Somehow, people have gained the impression that I’m a quiet, sweet, intellectual part-time ninja who could beat up a thousand men and overthrow a government…all from the way I carry myself. I’m…none of those things, except arguably sweet and intellectual (as are you, if your eloquent writing style and breadth of knowledge is any indicator). I was the kid who ate his boogers in middle school. People are funny. Give them a try…but hey, still swing by the 2D world here and now, it’s fun here!

    1. @kobuksonhwacha

      Thank you for the thoughtful comment. I really enjoyed reading it through. Mucho grateful to your input.

      Well, first, I should say 2-D is an ideal place, the mountain top that Dr. Martin Luther King had seen. So, his 2-D becomes a community dream, upper structure that influences lower structure, 3-D. I agree with you that 2-D can reflect back to reality, at least in America, once thought to be inherently a racist nation, after 40 years since MLK’s martyrdom, we now have a black president. Such a charismatic person I’ve never seen in my life, I thought he was the messiah that could entirely change the world and make my life as divine as romantic comedy = divine comedy, i.e., rabukome. But turned out to be a huge disappointment. And he’s making an excuse that change won’t happen in a day, but when? Another half of century?

      I don’t know if I’m still alive by then, and even though I make it, I would be an old geezer whose diapers need to be changed by a caregiver. No girl will date me. I can’t wait that long. I believe that one day women will be completely independent, asking boys out, and boys like us soshokukei, and eventually nikushokukei will die out. I believe super girls in 2-D will be conceptualized in reality. But the question is when?

      Yes, skinship, I’ve been craving for that. Yes, feeling her heart beat, warmth, by holding hands. Without skinship, without carinho, there’s only saudade. So, I seek warmth in 2-D. In fact 3-D girls have been predictable, they’ve all refused me. I hope someday they become unpredictable by accepting me. Girls are scared of rejection? Sure. It makes you want to kill yourself when you get rejected by someone you’re in love with. It’s hell. So, girls get a pass from not asking out while boys are branded as coward? That’s unfair. If girls think a guy looks cute, why not ask him out? Why always the guys?

      To answer your statements.

      1. I don’t fear women. I’m not a misogynist as I stated. I really want them to be independent and powerful, take leadership positions, and take the initiative in business and politics, and also romance. I always want to see our commander-in-chief female. I’ve supported them adamantly by joining feminist movement. Maybe you’re independently and voluntarily an otaku, but for me cruelty of 3-D has made me otaku, taking refuge in 2-D and having moe life. If I was popular among girls, always a subject of girlfriend gab, I’d never have become otaku, or even dreamed of crossing the Pacific to the land of free. Yet, I haven’t experienced freedom, so I’ve been seeking the new world in 2-D instead of 3-D, i.e., NAFTA.

      2. I’ve been hoping that for a long time. Yet, time is limited. But grownup romance, it’s too businesslike, takes too long, what if I die tomorrow, moreover, we only got until 2012. Today’s girls wait just too long to date. Why wait? Why wait for men to make the first move? Take the initiative. The world might end tomorrow. Be like high school romance, especially 17 years old, you confess love and get the answer right away. But I’m not 17 anymore, so I can’t redo my high school life. So, only in 2-D, I can be 17 again.

      3. Machismo is dominant sadistic quality praised by unapologetic rascals like goons, hoodlums, hooligans, pimps, gangs, yakuzas, mafias, military dictators, religious extremists, and terrorists, terrorizing our neighborhood and mistreating women, like Rape of Sabine and recently Stoning of Soroya M. What you describe doesn’t sound macho at all. Seems like you’re a nice person. I can tell you’re an intellectual. In turn, I’m a sweet person but not intellectual, just a simpleton happens to be otaku.

      Thanks for your encouragement!

  16. I know the person who wrote this will never see this, but i must say, that this quote;

    “1. Smart people believe in stereotypes BY CHOICE because, on average, stereotypes are accurate. (Uneducated people believe in stereotypes because they don’t know any better. Educated people who lack critical thinking skills try to not believe in stereotypes because that’s what they’ve been told). ”

    Is really, really stupid. smart people know to use stereotypes to impose questions, not to make bias judgments.

    Believing in stereotypes is one thing, assuming that everyone you meet falls upon every little trope of that stereotype is a completely different ball game.

    you made an uneducated assumption about whether he had a job, A smart person would have asked him if he had a job before hand because he was aware of the stereotype. your massive ego leaves me humbled. Upon being called out this arrogant claim, your retort is not.”sorry i was wrong”, its, “I’m a clever person so i get to make ridiculous statements about people i don’t know”

    Although you’ll never read this sadly….


  17. If you want change to happen, you must make that change.

    People that have posted already have been giving you advice and yet you still refer back to some negative point.

    Not all girls are changed by society. I for one, do not care if my partner is rich or not, or good looking or not.

    If you want someone, try. Ask someone out. Connect with people. No one said change was gonna be easy but you could actually take the first step instead of self pitying yourself.

    1. @Crystal

      Thank you for writing me.

      Let me make it clear. This society needs change, and girls need change, they need to be liberated from machismo. Although I do take change, that’s chump change to society. One individual effort is too small to change, so what we need is something magnificent, yes a messiah, and I was expecting the first black president be the change, hope, and future.

      I’ve tried millions times. So, why not girls try me? But no girl has tried me, so it’s about time that they try me. Yet, in my life I never saw a girl walk up to a boy and ask him out. It’s always the guys that do asking. That’s totally absurd. We are in the age of equality. Why not girls do it too? If you don’t care if he’s poor, ask him out. He may be feeling too poor to ask you out. Show him it’s okay to date you even though he’s poor. Just pay him a dinner if he earns less than you. Pay for a movie night or something. Or go Dutch. Don’t let a guy pay everything for you.

      But this type of girls are only in 2-D, not in reality. Thus, 2-D girls are better than 3-D girls.

  18. But I do understand why you take those view point as an otaku. However, why dwell on what the world has created bad? I think those viewpoints/fears are holding yourself back and really, if you never change, you won’t have a partner. Simple as that. You can’t really complain about something unless you try.

    1. Thank you very much for understanding me. That’s at least a relief being an otaku. I’ve tried millions times. So, it’s the society that needs change. It needs revolution. It’s not my viewpoint, and I’m not a negative person either, I’m a tabla rasa, blank slate, not because I have a negative view point, but the society itself is negative. So, what we need to do is to make society positive. Simple as that. But probably that won’t happen in my life time, or if it did happen, I would be too old by then, an old geezer on a wheelchair only a caregiver would come talk to me and change my diaper, so I rather go to 2-D as well.

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