OreGairu: goshin (self-defense) from 3D girls


OreGairu, Hachiman (aka Hikky) is really pathetic. Yui Yuigahama has a huge crush on Hahchiman, but he can’t get any of that. Yui already shows way too obvious signs to him, but he can’t see it. All his romantic senses are filtered by his past bitter experiences. Yes, like Underground Man. Oh yes, sign is the most holy thing on earth, the sign of “she’s interested .” Girl’s romantic sign, nothing holier than that, that sign is semeion, yes, so sign is a miracle! He has seen all these miracles from Yui, but he just don’t get it. Or his logic shuts down 3D girls. And that logic has been acquired through bitter experiences. And that logic is called goshin (self-defense).

Yup, afraid of misinterpretation, I understand, that’s unlucky of being a dude. We dudes have really strong thirst for skinship with female, so if a girl is little bit kind to us on a certain day, we misinterpret, “Oh, she actually has a little crush on me, bwahahahaha!” And then asks her out, but gets turned down, or finds out that she already has a boyfriend or husband, or she actually loves someone else, or she is a lesbo (yuri is fine with me in a different way). But most girls are hetero.

But, even if you have a hard experience like Hachiman, if a girl is that obvious, you can’t miss out. In real life, that can’t happen like anime, because girls aren’t that obivous, it’s so subtle, that’s why romance in real life is extremely hard. Girls (also gays) can tell who likes whom, but to me, I can’t. It always surprises me if some of my friends start dating a girl I know. “Wow, how did it happen!?” Worst case, if my friend starts going out with my crush without my knowledge. “That bastard!” It definitely ruins friendship. In turn, girls are always acute, they got romantic antenna. But for guys, we get the headline and shocked. But for girls, a gossip is already circulating. Soap opera brains.


Does a girl ask a guy out? That’s unheard of. Only in anime I saw that, like Yuigahama. Her yukata is just devilishly cute. Can’t you tell that she likes you! Man, Hachiman is pathetic. I just don’t get his logic. If I were him, I can kiss her a thousand times. She even wears yukata for you! What is heavenlier than that!

Because he got that goshin (護身 “self-defense”) that otaku fundamentalists have acquired. Why? Without tasting women (without having any skinship)? That’s crazy. If you went through a lot of women, then goshin may be the answer. Like Gautama Buddha had enough with women, so he became an ascetic. George Michael got tired of women, he even sings “Everything She Wants,” so he’s become a gay. But Hachiman never experienced women, but already turned into a gay, blushing in front of Totsuka, otoko-no-ko (a girly looking boy). But I somehow understand why he acquired goshin; just a little favor from a girl like chocolate, we already imagine deep skinship, or French skinship. Forget about French, “do you want to experience my little Japanese?” But, we get turned down then accuse them, “3D girls are a bunch of cock-teasers!” But that emotional longing for skinship, this is pre-programmed, nothing we can do about it, even if you meditate eight days a week. But, rather than resorting to homosexuality like Hachiman or George Michael (ideal situation for fujoshi), I resort to moe. Moe is a hug, warm embrace, becoming one with a cute girl. Or, becoming one with that cuteness. Yes, kawaii!

Yuigahama is just cute. Cutistically cute! So cute, yeah, pinching his clothes and pulling him back! Or judo chop! Girls don’t do that kind of stuff to you if they don’t like you. How I wish I could have a girl like that. She is definitely my yome (waifu) of this season!

Moreover, and most importantly, her things-in-themselves are just effing awesome!





Author: Monsieur LaMoe

A refugee from Japan. Live in NAFTA. Get hooked on Moe. Moe is opium? Twitter: @MonsieurLamoe

8 thoughts on “OreGairu: goshin (self-defense) from 3D girls

    1. Really? Umm, that’s like Hiyama Hikaru always loses to Ayukawa Madoka since Kimagure Orange Road. I think Hachiman’s true love is Totsuka.

      1. LOL, secret route. That would be left-landed, esoteric rabu-kome (Rom-Com) God.

  1. “or she is a lesbo (yuri is fine with me in a different way).” -*raise an eyebrow* is that supposed to denote disgust? (and no one ‘turns’ gay 😛 )

    “But for girls, a gossip is already circulating. Soap opera brains.” – lolz it’s only that we are raised up that way, ain’t it? paying attention to detail, being kind and sensitive, showing understanding and compassion… Patriarchy is to blame my dear. And more realistically in the first place: parents and child-rearing practices.

    “Does a girl ask a guy out? That’s unheard of.” – Really? Then I am deviant in one more sense 😉

    The gif with the devil outfit is effing awesome!

    1. If girl already has a boyfriend, a huge disappointment, but if she’s a lesbo, then, irresistible ecstasy rather than dispair (I don’t talk this secret pleasure to ordinary people, only to otakus). No one turns gay? George Michael is a living proof that he turned gay!

      Gays are also gossipy, that’s why girls and gays hit off really well. Patriarchy made them gossipy? I doubt it. It’s brain wave. They got the same brain waves.

      That’s cool, I love assertive girls! I wish more girls were like that. Well, at least, from my experience, never been asked out. Living in SoCal and never been asked to go to Disneyland together. And I blame patriarchy for that.:)

  2. Hmm never saw OreGairu…I think.. Like FLA… i definitely don’t think I fit the mold of waiting to be asked. If so then it is going to be a long wait in my opinion… Got to Carpe diem… I definitely agree that real life romance is very hard, but mostly expectations of self..

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