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WEDing Bell, Princess’ Delusion

Today, June 5th, is World Environment Day (WED). So let’s do WEDing, instead of wedding up (marrying up).

Princess’ Delusion

Unless babes think eco is sexy, soshokukei (the meek) got no chance. We remain drifters in 3-D like Tora-san. So, to honor WED, I hereby declare that ECO IS SEXY! Thriftiness is all about going eco. We thrifters are the eco-friendliest. Thrifty is nifty. Therefore, anthropologically speaking, we must be the sexiest people ever!

It’s not that I’m trying to brag, but I never drove in Japan. So, I was already an eco-prince while long-haired surfers were busy picking up girls with their tacky SUVs. Their surfboards should have been smashed into pieces by Ika-musume.

Here in America, I don’t drive a gas-guzzler. I don’t drive like these Chickie Run gangs in the 50’s. In turn, I’m waiting for America to develop good train system, so we’ll be freed from cars. So, car won’t be a tool to show off machoness like unevolved men do, especially those rowdy bōsōzoku (motorcycle gangs). Yes, the car-free movement is the first step to dismantle machismo!

America had always been in financial bubbles, e.g., dotcom bubble, housing bubble, so American girls haven’t experienced the lost decades like Japanese girls, hence they’re more materialistic and likely to go brouhaha over muscleheads. That’s why too many American dudes are obnoxiously macho.

But America just got into the post bubble era after the Lehman shock. The bubble was the age of ego, but the post-bubble is the age of eco. So, it’s a big chance for American dudes to evolve into soshokukei. That will surely save the planet!

Right now, sadly for otaku folks, dating 2-D girls are part of eco because 3-D girls are making themselves ridiculously expensive. Don’t they know that is called “whoring”? They resist objectification but happily accept commodification. Since they earn income as well, some of them earn more than men do, why don’t they share the burden? But, they simply want a free ride. Princess’ delusion that knight in shining armor would one day scoop her up and ride with him on a white horse to his lavish castle…still clinging to Gold-digger’s myth… That’s why girls never make a move, and accuse us for being a coward if we don’t ask them out.

So, why not go Dutch then? That would make girls less commodity and more human, thus end alienation. Going Dutch is essential to stop dehumanization. If can’t afford dining out, then house-date is an option. An ekohime (エコ姫 “eco-princess”) would praise a boy if he suggests eco-date. That’s what eco-prince does!

It’s time that they move from egotism to ecotism. From brand bags to recycling bags. It’s time that they transform themselves into eco-princess. Yes, like Princess Sarah! What makes her a princess is not by birth but by action! From egonomics to economics. Egology to ecology! Phallogocentric to ecolocentric! Egocentric to ecocentric!

So, the answer is clear. We need to overthrow machismo. How we do it? Of course, an extraordinary solution would be female president of the United States. But we don’t know when that will happen. Not sure if Princess Sarah of Alaska will even run. Well, she’s more of a queen than a princess. So, what can be done is, little by little, in a small scale, in an ordinary life, girls can start becoming eco-princess. Yes, every little girl dreams about wedding. So, what kind of wedding then? WEDing instead of gold-digging! Like Princess Jellyfish‘s dream! True Tantanako (a Bolivian slang for “cohabitation”). Ecological cohabitation. That’s how a little princess will make herself a hero! That’s the true La Petite Princesse!

Small is beautiful. Little is beautiful. Little princess is cute!

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