WEDing Bell, Princess’ Delusion

Today, June 5th, is World Environment Day (WED). So let’s do WEDing, instead of wedding up (marrying up).

Princess’ Delusion

Unless babes think eco is sexy, soshokukei (the meek) got no chance. We remain drifters in 3-D like Tora-san. So, to honor WED, I hereby declare that ECO IS SEXY! Thriftiness is all about going eco. We thrifters are the eco-friendliest. Thrifty is nifty. Therefore, anthropologically speaking, we must be the sexiest people ever!

It’s not that I’m trying to brag, but I never drove in Japan. So, I was already an eco-prince while long-haired surfers were busy picking up girls with their tacky SUVs. Their surfboards should have been smashed into pieces by Ika-musume.

Here in America, I don’t drive a gas-guzzler. I don’t drive like these Chickie Run gangs in the 50’s. In turn, I’m waiting for America to develop good train system, so we’ll be freed from cars. So, car won’t be a tool to show off machoness like unevolved men do, especially those rowdy bōsōzoku (motorcycle gangs). Yes, the car-free movement is the first step to dismantle machismo!

America had always been in financial bubbles, e.g., dotcom bubble, housing bubble, so American girls haven’t experienced the lost decades like Japanese girls, hence they’re more materialistic and likely to go brouhaha over muscleheads. That’s why too many American dudes are obnoxiously macho.

But America just got into the post bubble era after the Lehman shock. The bubble was the age of ego, but the post-bubble is the age of eco. So, it’s a big chance for American dudes to evolve into soshokukei. That will surely save the planet!

Right now, sadly for otaku folks, dating 2-D girls are part of eco because 3-D girls are making themselves ridiculously expensive. Don’t they know that is called “whoring”? They resist objectification but happily accept commodification. Since they earn income as well, some of them earn more than men do, why don’t they share the burden? But, they simply want a free ride. Princess’ delusion that knight in shining armor would one day scoop her up and ride with him on a white horse to his lavish castle…still clinging to Gold-digger’s myth… That’s why girls never make a move, and accuse us for being a coward if we don’t ask them out.

So, why not go Dutch then? That would make girls less commodity and more human, thus end alienation. Going Dutch is essential to stop dehumanization. If can’t afford dining out, then house-date is an option. An ekohime (エコ姫 “eco-princess”) would praise a boy if he suggests eco-date. That’s what eco-prince does!

It’s time that they move from egotism to ecotism. From brand bags to recycling bags. It’s time that they transform themselves into eco-princess. Yes, like Princess Sarah! What makes her a princess is not by birth but by action! From egonomics to economics. Egology to ecology! Phallogocentric to ecolocentric! Egocentric to ecocentric!

So, the answer is clear. We need to overthrow machismo. How we do it? Of course, an extraordinary solution would be female president of the United States. But we don’t know when that will happen. Not sure if Princess Sarah of Alaska will even run. Well, she’s more of a queen than a princess. So, what can be done is, little by little, in a small scale, in an ordinary life, girls can start becoming eco-princess. Yes, every little girl dreams about wedding. So, what kind of wedding then? WEDing instead of gold-digging! Like Princess Jellyfish‘s dream! True Tantanako (a Bolivian slang for “cohabitation”). Ecological cohabitation. That’s how a little princess will make herself a hero! That’s the true La Petite Princesse!

Small is beautiful. Little is beautiful. Little princess is cute!

Author: Monsieur LaMoe

A refugee from Japan. Live in NAFTA. Get hooked on Moe. Moe is opium? Twitter: @MonsieurLamoe

2 thoughts on “WEDing Bell, Princess’ Delusion

  1. In Princess Jellyfish, they were all living together because they were poor, which happened to be a huge story arch as they had to find a way to not lose their home. This is usually how a roommate situation works; nobody can afford to live on their own so they all live together. As someone who has had a variety of roommate situations, I have to say; it sucks and a “happy bond la la lovey” roommate situation is very near impossible to come across. It’s not typically a choice, and despite my environmental lifestyle (for the sake of brevity, I’ll just call it that) if I really had a choice in this matter, I would absolutely not live with a bunch of others. Even if they were super-cool, roommates can’t help but suck, a lot, in so many ways.

    This brings up a point you broach; due to all the financial stress the US has been forced to deal with, eco-friendliness is booming. Part of me thinks, “Great, whatever means to reach an end” though I am also very, very aware that this is more due to nobody being able to afford being an environmental jerk. As a counter to this sort of thinking, I have to give props to the royals, who were frugal and environmentally friendly (in comparison to past royals) with their wedding. Sure, it cost millions, though again; in comparison it was far less a strain on the planet than in the past.

    Again; “any means to reach an end” is winning in my thoughts. I think, in a twisted way, people having to deal with hardships makes them more resistant to later failures, as well switches their minds into a more resourceful mode which in turn, in this day and age means “reduce, reuse, recycle.”

    What is the main selling point of eco-friendly cars? It was not (at first) that ‘chicks dig it’. It is that people save money over time, via gas and maintenance savings. Only now are hetero-men catching on that “oooh, a lot of women like the idea of saving pandas.” (Regardless of if pandas are disgusting in so many ways, they are also awesome. Even I agree with that. Save the pandas, drive a prius.) Not only does the person with the electric/hybrid car save money (and pandas), they also appear to be of sound mind as it shows careful planning and reliability.

    As for going dutch…

    despite earning less, I kind of have to agree. In a way. My perspective here is rather communistic in that everyone gives what they can and takes what they need when it comes to relationships with the hope being it all evens out in one way or another. (I do not think women (or men) are “whores’ for expecting to be treated on a date. It’s nice to be treated sometimes, and it’s also nice to treat… am sure everyone is individual in how much enjoyment they get from giving versus receiving.) I’m a big fan of the “paying it forward” concept.

    I am also a big fan of the idea of having some dates be in-house. (And a fan of motorcycles.)

    If one were to REALLY date in an environmentally friendly manner, all dates would be ocean clean-ups, adventures in recycling, protests and petition signing and would end up with a romp through a co-op to gather materials to make a raw-food dinner followed by role playing “George Bush and Corporate America at the Earth Summit”.

    Honestly, I think I’ll pass (on most of that). Seems exhaustingly dull. Though the back of a prius IS pretty roomy. (Just saying.)

    PS; muscle men are the equivalent to most women as small and cute women are to most men. (Thank evolution for that.)

    1. @shika

      Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment.

      Right, I totally agree about Jellyfish Princess and roommates. We shouldn’t need roommates even in the time of difficulties. Roommates are a slap to our fundamental right to remain private. Everyone should be entitled to privacy. It’s better if we all have right to housing, that every individual at least gets his/her own studio.

      Here in Megalopolitan, rent is too expensive. Housing bubble ended, but why isn’t rent going down but keep going up? It just doesn’t make sense. Mind-boggling. Most of my expensive goes to rent. If rent is reasonable, I can buy myself an iPad. In a worst case, I may need to move to South America, rent is 10 times cheaper there. Average hotel rate is like $20 a day, way cheaper than rent here.

      Yes, I agree with hardship makes people switch their minds to more eco-mode. Economic crisis is actually a big chance to change paradigm. During the early 70’s in Japan, we had dollar shock and oil shock, double shock by the Nixon administration, and that’s when Japanese cars got energy-efficient, saving a lot of mileage per gallon.

      Yeah, pandas are awesome, they don’t need to work. I wish to be as lazy as pandas, since labor drains my vitality.

      Yes, Prius is roomy, space efficient! Eco-friendly car is good. But I would rather ride a train, and ride a bicycle instead of motorcycle. Yes, like Netherlands, where you can go anywhere with a bicycle. Here, they need to build more train. I don’t think chicks dig eco-prince right now, as a matter of fact, I always carry a green bag to shopping, but I never once got hit on by chicks. How cold 3-D is…

      Go Dutch is cool. I like the idea of being communistic. It’d be out of mind to pay for two people’s food at restaurant while struggling to pay your own rent. Thanks for the NYTimes link. As for a job of Presidency of USA, gender gap is 100%, since no woman has been elected to President. Before Obama, racial gap was 100% too.

      That’s why evolution is taking so slow. Muscle is a sign of violence. Muscle is very scary, it’s nothing different from lethal weapons like AK47 and nukes. We need disarmament, and so do guys. We’re moving towards non-violence age, so less muscle, small and lean and compact, soshokukei boys should be attractive to women. Small is not a sign of weakness, unreliability, cowardice, but gentle spirit. What we need is small-scale therapeutic mind. Small is beautiful.

      Hahaha, W Bush and Corporate America at Earth Summit role play. Hahaha. That’s hilarious! I never heard that eco-date before!

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