“ef–a tale of melodies” to Broadcast “Artsiness Waves”

TOKYO–SHAFT, the studio responsible for creating “ef–a tale of memories,” has said that the sequel series entitled “ef–a tale of melodies” will not only feature most of the same staff, but will also include “bonus artsiness waves” that will emanate from the screen to the viewer.

Scientists studying “artsiness waves” said that their primary effects include tickling the part of the brain that sees overarching themes and patterns, as well arousing emotions that induce intellectual egotism and a sense of superiority over others. A side effect included the sudden desire to drink lattes at indie coffee shops and to watch French movies whilst wearing a beret. Scientists are also studying why it also produces desires to post five page essays on blogs after exposure.

“This is an exciting new development,” director Shin Oonuma told Believe What You Hear. “We couldn’t help but notice that the kind of people who really appreciated the first series were into the experimental style that me and my staff applied to an otherwise pretty but ho-hum eroge. We noticed, too, that the anime bloggers who loved it the most really seemed to get off on analysis. So we figured–why leave it to the poseurs? Why not send everybody into that state of mind?

“Let me read you just one example of the kind of stuff we want to see a lot more of,” Oonuma continued. “Blogger ‘Michael’ states that:

It is like a dream: a series of moments both strange and memorable, passing through the filter of the mind’s eye that, with a little direction, arrange themselves into patterns and meanings whose sum is greater than the parts. This series’ melange of art, memory, dream, and sorrow is a creative triumph and is, for me, the best anime I’ve seen this year.

“I gotta tell you, I creamed my pants after I read that. This is exactly the sort thing I wanted people to feel after watching my shows. I want everyone to write pretentious crap like that about me.”

Oonuma and his staff made this decision after seeing that Kaiba, an experimental show from the Spring 2008 season, was having much success with anime bloggers in using the same artsiness waves. However, the first director who started the trend, Hideaki Anno, has made a public statement saying that he regrets using them in the Evangelion TV series and End of Eva movie. “After seeing that my biggest fans were pathetic pseudo-intellects who picked at every nosehair on Lilith to find some bigger religious meaning, I gave up,” he said. “I’m remaking the Eva movies now to repent of my sins.” He then proceeded to flip a middle finger at the press and stalk off, muttering, “Too bad.”

Author: gendomike

Michael lives in the Los Angeles area, and has been into anime since he saw Neon Genesis Evangelion in 1999. Some of his favorite shows include Full Metal Alchemist, Honey and Clover, and Welcome to the NHK!. Since 2003 he has gone to at least one anime convention every year. A public radio junkie, which naturally led to podcasting, he now holds a seminary degree and is looking to become Dr. Rev. Otaku Bible Man any day now. Michael can be reached at mike.huang@animediet.net. You can also find his Twitter account at @gendomike.

5 thoughts on ““ef–a tale of melodies” to Broadcast “Artsiness Waves”

  1. Man, now I want a pair of “artsy goggles” so that I can make pretentious commetns about everything.

    XD Brilliant article, one of your better satires.

  2. Awesome post. I was one of those bloggers that found some of the show mildly interesting, but whose opinion of the show crashed after being assaulted by said “pretentious crap” posted by so many people not to be named here…

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