Skinship with Joshidaisei. Part 1

Ahh, a girl from Ipanema with fully ripened peaches! Peach beach! I can hear some bossa going on! Such as Shiina Ringo’s “Irokoizata (色恋沙汰)” Yes, love affair! Fly me to Rio!

Kamisama Dolls, why can’t I let go of this show? Because of the fairest, Shiba Hibino (史場 日々乃)! Hibino-san has unavoidable sex appeal. Tall and fair and young and lovely! I don’t know why I’m attracted to her more than any other 2-D girls. Usually, 2-D girls I fall for are joshikousei (女子高生 high school girls). Most of the time, I mean, all the time! Because that’s the most precious time period I wanted to experience romance the most. Yes, my high school years, especially my junior year, 17 years old!

So yes, 2-D girls are a direct projection of my wish or regret. A reflection of what I lost a long time ago. An ideal I want to regain. Yes, the Paradise. Yes, 2-D girls are exactly my saudade. Estou morrendo de saudade (I’m dying of saudade). Something you can never attain. Unattainable. I can never go back to high school unless I am reborn and reincarnated as a high school student. But I can’t believe in that nonsense, so I can’t believe in Buddhism, or any other karma based religions like Jainism, Hinduism, Yoga, and Hare Krishna. So yes, it’s based on my memory, but rather a painful one, so I want to remake this experience from a painful one to a blissful one.

But I’m not sure why I’m attracted to Hibino-san this much. Boy, she’s so special! She doesn’t look like any real girl I wish to go out. I don’t really know what joshidaisei (女子大生 university girls) are like since I never went to daigaku (Japanese university). I didn’t spend time with them, listening to boring lectures together. I totally lack daigaku life. I didn’t share their zeitgeist. So, it’s not tangible to me. Joshikousei were once tangible, but joshidaisei have been intangible from the beginning and will always be. In other words, I lost my high school life, but I didn’t lose daigaku life since I never had one. So, Hibino is not based on my 3-D memory. So, I thought a 2-D college girl would never be my cup of tea. But whenever I see Hibino-san, I feel something that is moving up my legs.

This never happened to me before, a purely 2-D girl could give me this sensation. I didn’t get to experience daigaku, so there’s nobody to associate with from my past. I have joshikousei archetype built in through my high school years, so any 2-D joshikousei can be my potential yome (bride), but I don’t get to have joshidaisei archetype, so Hibino-san is just unexpected. So, yes, Hibino is totally a girl of the blank slate. She’s purely platonic, she never exists in the physical realm, i.e., 3-D. So, this is completely new to me. Yes, she’s a mystery!

As a NEET/Hikikomori, underground man, or cave man, 2-D joshikousei are shadows projected from my high school memory. I stay inside the cave because a movie theater needs to be dark in order to see shadows of the films. But Hibino is not a shadow, so how did she end up in my cave? Art is an imitation of 3-D. But she’s independent of 3-D girls. I have no recollection of this joshidaisei nor prior knowledge of her. It’s so weird.

What’s more, until the advent of Hibino, I wasn’t really into johshidaishi since their impression wasn’t that good. I heard how daigaku debut was making girls notoriously conceited. And they used to be the glorified age group during the bubble economy (1988 -1992), but after the bubble burst, the mainstream media stopped going gaga over them. And after a short while, joshikousei took over the mainstream culture. So, joshidaisei were yesterday’s glory. Truly vanity. So, I wasn’t really interested in romance with a joshidaisei, so I left Japan without any remorse. Until I met Hibino on 2-D screen…

I wouldn’t have kept watching this show if I didn’t see Hibino in the first episode. The first episode was about a typical college party at izakaya. And Kyohei is dragged into a confession game among the stupid college dudes, they just see the cutest girl and whoever draws the joker has to ask her out. I can tell the level of daigaku culture from this. Yeah, goukon and all that crap. But somehow, Kyohei ends up with Hibino by an external incident. Deus Ex Machina! The girl you tried to go out with somehow ends up together in an unexpected adventure. I wish my life was like that! It’s so dreamlike. That’s the beauty of 2-D! But never happened in 3-D. No divine intervention in my life. No miracle whatsoever, just like Juri said. How melancholic my life has been…

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that life is utterly meaningless and hopeless. Therefore, there is no other choice but to become an atheist (agnostic or ignostic, whatever you call it).

(To be continued…)

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