Code GEass and the Freedom Pizza

So it began that one day out of my extreme boredom of not able to live under the shadow of the good ol’ red white ‘n’ blue, I decided that I had sudden craving of some America’s finest, most original cuisine – freedom food! Since the McDonald’s in Taiwan don’t serve real hamburgers (you know that those folks eat pigs EVERY meal) and freedome fries (didn’t these potatoe sticks come from Belgium?), and the pizza here is doused with mayo, sprinkled-plenty with corn and bak choy. I felt like some freedom food! Now, my favorite freedom food is of course, fries, but is just so happened that I craved the other freedom foods, and I wanted some pizza. Before I bothered order anything, I downloaded a certain anime from the Land of the Octopus pizza and fresh fish McNuggets. How the hell did I get there? Who cares? There on my screen, I saw an utopia where the Great Empire of America has conquered and perhaps Christianized the entire Terra (that’s my one true, dear wish, that American Empire can actually Christianize the whole planet and make my stay anywhere on this crappy planet super-freakin’ convenient)! I was jubilant!

It so happens that land 11 (it was formally named Japan) was resisting the great American Empire, which has blessedly taken over this piece of junk plant, and finally the great and oh-so-freaking-ass-awesome emperor (I’m thinking his name would be Bousssh the 6th) sends his robo-techinial mobile suit mechas called Knightmares (ha ha) to the land of Elevens to conquer their short, fishy, and uptight asses. And thankfully, these 11s lost! Yay! USA! USA! USA………… Oh. The screen said Empire Britanica,
hmm…Well, let’s blame it on the British, shall we? That’s right! They’re the ones who started imperialism! I have a severe dislike of the British for many reasons, one of which is that the Imperial British Library is actually backed by an evil organization and they plan to preserve genes of the greatest people on earth and take over! Another reason is that Lord of the Ring’s ending sucks. I mean, come on Frodo, say it like Luke would: “I’ll never join you!” There. There’s some of our American Iron will! I mean, Frodo is just some prissy shorty-short-short man who’s too weak to do anything on his own. What a wuz! Anyway, as I stared triumphantly at the screen, I realized that my cravings for freedom pizza grew and grew. At first I didn’t realize the great message that was so poignantly obvious, and then after watching some more of the anime, I realized that the message of the number one freedom pizza maker – Pizza Hut: Order some Pizza Hut Pizza, you shinto bowing, buddha kissing, Zen-craving idolaters! I then realized these Pizza Hut logos that was painfully obvious even in the plot. And I thought, “boy, how the heck am I going to get freedom pizza here in Taiwan?” The END!

%d bloggers like this: