BUFFALO, NY – Following a member of Section 9, our reporter busted down Ray Hu’s door and we have discovered his real identity.”Ray Hu”, or according to his driver’s license, Ricardo James Hunter, was hiding in his grandparents’ basement in upstate New York. When we found him, he was downing a can of Bud, scratching his privates, and viewing a certain anime involving kendo women, mermaids, and bikini girls with machine guns.
The 5’4″ white male tried to put up a struggle, but fell on his face into a puddle of his own puke.
“He’s not even Chinese! That changes everything!” said one Jewish mother, who has been a listener of Anime Diet Radio for some time. “I often listen for the latest news on aliens, espers, and people from the future! I knew it! They are invading!”
“What the f*^^::! I AM RAY HU, you motherf%^&ers! I AM Chinese and I’m proud of it! GA goon kha yuu woa ni hao ma! Flied lices! I love flucking gleeks!” Ricardo James Hunter, AKA Rick, began spewing some kind of language non-stop when he was handcuffed and taken into the Tachikoma squad car. “This is Ray Hu coming from Taipei you heathen swines, and I’m coming for yer!” he later said.
Cyber anime fans all over the world were stunned into silence for 30 seconds.