Anime Blogging Collective War Ends; All Bow Before Owen S

“It was an April Fool’s Day joke, we swear!” former rebels claim before being executed

MALAYSIA–the week-long civil war within the Anime Blogging Collective, founded by Owen S, is now over with the final surrender of all the breakaway and expelled blogs. The surrender was signed on board the USS Saturn-9 on April 1, 2008. The signers were then all blindfolded and executed by firing squad.

“Today,” Owen declared, “is a sad, and also triumphant day for the Collective. The imperial running dogs and their allies have been defeated, but fresh blood must enter the collective to replace what it has lost. We must embark upon the task of rebuilding, with new friends and allies who believe in the Revolution and the Cause of the Collective.” He then announced new leaders for all the formerly rebellious blogs.

The conflict began when CJ Blackwing, the leader of Borderline Hikkikomori, was expelled for noncompliance with the Clannad and True Tears Watching Act. She voiced her dissent publicly and was joined many other bloggers who concurred with her scurrilous assessment of Owen S as a “dictator,” and before long, all-out battle ensued. While some stood on the sidelines, Leader Owen mobilized his army, which included Anime Diet, and after many intense battles was able to recapture all the lost territory.

“The future of the ABC is bright,” Owen said. “Now that we are once again united behind my singular vision for anime blogging, we plan to increase the quota output by 50% in next month’s One-Month Plan. This incident proves that the Collective is the wave of the future, and that when bloggers unite, there is no stopping them.” He then added with a smirk, “And who will now think of even joking around with me?”