Toradora 23 – what is that feeling…?

What is normal?

If you could solve my puzzle, I’d give you 6000 dollars. I know that’s not much but I’d appreciated it much. But hey, could someone please tell me, what is normal?

Growing up in a normal family, be a normal, nice and decent looking (white) guy, dating some girls and have sexual relationships with two or three partners? What is normal anyway?

Are people who fall in love with Toradora and feeling different from others normal? Not quite normal? Otaku? Well, what is it?

Some people still manages to  find people to get together and even get married/engaged, others are lonely, single, with no prospect of ever finding anyone to be with. Some confesses and get rejected, others never say a thing and sit quietly as the people they really like get together with someone else, only to be treated like shit in the end.

Can somebody please tell what the fuck is going on here? Can you? Can “god”? Can anyone explain all this? What is our answer?

I don’t get it – is it so great to be dishonest about your feelings in Japanese culture? Really? Why are they all denying something and at the end and the main guy and main girl just avoid telling each other it?

Well, yeah, OK, trying not to make your best friend feel awful…That’s gotta be an Asian thing, isn’t it?

But lots of unreasonable things happen in Asia (including some old hag that bites you just because she can’t get her way), I mean, get over this Asian shit and just be honest!

At this point, I’m not talking about a nuclear meltdown of frustration; with all the shit that happens everywhere, I’m talking about deathstar blowing up this planet-scale frustration. At least Minorin’s had enough of all the hypocritical garbage. I mean, sheesh! Without anime as outlet, some Japanese would just explode!

You like someone? Confess. Even if that thing rejects you like you’re garbage. At least you did it. That thing, whatever that demon thing is, will at the very least, in his/her subconscious, feel one ounce of bad for you. But yeah, it’s humanity, so don’t expect much out of it. After all,

We’re not Toradora.

Take care of yourselves, and each other (maybe).

14 thoughts on “Toradora 23 – what is that feeling…?”

  1. People are afraid of change.
    Taiga and Ryuuji aren’t just acquaintances,  they are best friends.
    If you were to confess to someone to some classmate you have a crush on and got rejected as a result, well you’d feel bad for a while and eventually move on, your life won’t change.

    Taiga and Ryuuji’s relationship is different, they have pretty much been living with each other, cared about each other, they both are a big part of the other life.

    If Taiga was to confess to Ryuuji and be rejected, it wouldn’t be only a heartbreak, everything between them would be ruined and her life would be drastically changed, I think that is what she feared the most.

    That’s why they both needed a push, the statu quo can’t continue and things have to change, this is what happened in this episode.

    I’d say this is distirbungly close to what can be considered “normal” in interpersonal relationships.

    1. @ Gigi – “disturbing” is such a harsh word, don’t you think? After all, this is entertainment, and one thing entertainment can do is imitate real life while overall, exaggerates to some degree without going over the edge. But also thank you for your insight to human relationships.

  2. I had a friend in college who liked a girl from the start of freshman year, but since they were friends she didn’t want to go out with him – it took FIVE YEARS before they finally started dating and now they’re married with two kids.  I guess my point is they’re both white so I don’t think it’s just an Asian thing, I think sometimes people don’t take the next step in their relationship because they’re more afraid of losing a friend than gaining a boyfriend/girlfriend.  I think that’s one of the things that makes Toradora a good series, it’s a pretty realistic portrayal (IMHO) of how relationships in RL can be complicated.

    1. @ suguru – That’s interesting. Since I sorely lack in the relationship area, thank you very much for information. I know in theory that many people don’t want to move on to the next phase out of fear of losing a friend.

  3. Really it comes down to convenience.  Relationships take a lot of work, while friendship is generally much easier to maintain.

    All societies try to find ways around inconvenient truths.  Primarily, in Toradora and other romantic works, denying one’s feelings is about fear.  The person who denies his or her feelings is thinking not of the potential gain, but rather the potential loss. They are more afraid of the risk and the problems should their feelings come out than the gain should they come out and be accepted.

    And in fact, on the level of social commentary, most romantic comedies do wind up with at least a hint of “Be honest already!”  That’s part of the genre, though I suspect not every work will build your frustration to the apocalyptic levels you encounter with Toradora.

    1. @ Moritheil – like “Friends” back in the ’90s. But that’s the fun part of watching this show; to care and to pretend it’s real. Whatever plots are put in are supposed to make people care.

  4. People are different. Do not expect you know each and everyone. Also, do not let Toradora in your head. Its just an anime with pre-written scripts and dialogues and follows a storyline which has an ending that has been pre-determined from the start. All of this “not confessing” thing is just a ‘twist’ to add some spice into the series. It’s there to irritate you. and sadly it got you.

  5. First off, this is not exactly an ideal place for relationship advice: it’s an otaku website.  With that disclaimer in mind, I feel compelled to say something @zomglazerspewpewpew.

    Many people – men and women alike – fear the expectations of others, as though these expectations alone control the future. So, while I’m not saying it was mature or justified, I can understand why a woman doesn’t want to talk to a man she has rejected – it’s awkward, and she’ll forever be thinking that you’re trying to get into her pants.  Depending on the details, it may be juvenile of her, but people are often juvenile.  While you may have lost a friend, you have gained the knowledge that her friendship with you was weak and thus she would not have been a friend you could have relied upon.

    Look at the reverse situation: would you want to remain friends with someone who expects you to help her out while flatly denying any possibility of being with you?  I suppose that if she really does honor the friendship and help you out sometimes as well, it’s not a bad thing at all.  However, my observation is that friendships where one person is romantically interested in the other and there is no reciprocation tend to be very uneven.  That is unhealthy and you are better off without it.

    The point behind confessing honestly is not that you won’t get hurt. You WILL get hurt. But it will save you years of being strung along with false hopes. And the times you aren’t hurt, you will gain something wonderful.

  6. Hmm, being honest….
    I tried that. There is a girl I like, and I successfully made her my friend. Being with her was fun enough. But I tried to “confess” to her, even if the success rate was near zero because I thought even if I get rejected, we will still be friends. Guess what? She said “sorry” and she never talked to me again.

    1. @ zomglazerspewpewpew – well you know, life sucks and women are weird. They are really, really weird. All I can say is that she probably like tall guys with Ferrari, rich dads, and plenty of gin and juice. XD Shit, it’s chicks and they are terrible. No a big deal. Move on.

    2. Oh and she’s quite fucking immature to simply ignore you just for that. What is she, a middle school kid? Grow up and stop that “it’s a woman thing” shit.

  7. Righty then. The people in the anime are just so relentlessly introverted about intimate relationships because otherwise, there’s no plot :P. It’s hard to relate it to real life – I’ve never seen a situation where, in a group of kids, one of them just can’t come out and talk about their hormonal imbalance.
    I think it’s just a vicious cycle. People treat romantic relationships like an unattainable prize, therefore they’re afraid to go after one, and then it becomes even more intimidating, making it even more difficult.
    People just find melodrama interesting..
    Speaking of which I have this love/hate relationship with TD!, it’s kind of weird. I’ll talk all kinds of crap about it when not watching it, then watch it and I’ll be sad it’s just over.
    Why? The angles, production, timing, it’s all perfected. The ending comes right at the perfect times, and the music always fits the situation. The only thing that seems to pull me out of it is the ridiculously sappy dialogue – but even then a lot of it is realistic.
     
    Gotta say, the production company did a good job with this show. Unusually good job. Hell, the only thing that got me to watch it in the first place was the damn opening sequence. XD

  8. The fun of watching these shows is getting frustrated. But yes, the production is excellent. Can’t remember any animation break downs vividly. This is classic Asian drama.

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