100% Fresh Squeezed Lilith Juice!

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In their continued quest to milk the Evangelion cow, Gainax has just released Eva-branded orange juice. And they’re calling it “LCL.” That’s right–LCL, aka the fluid that smells like blood, makes kids choke, and is actually the blood of the Big Mama Goddess Lilith.

All I have to say is: good luck to the marketing team that has to try to sell this.

  • Minute Maid 100% Fresh Squeezed Lilith Juice. Made from Angel Concentrate!

  • Gainax LCL. For the Goddess in You!
  • LCL. Third Child tested, Lilith approved

Ah, to think that this was the show that got me into anime. And now they’re remaking it into a new movie series. Anno, please don’t let me down…even if the rest of Gainax Marketing does.

Any other ridiculous slogans anyone else can think of? Or for other possible ridiculous products?

3 thoughts on “100% Fresh Squeezed Lilith Juice!”

  1. LCL, quench your thirst for the wench!

    Need some great refreshment? Come get a taste of LCL.

    DON’T just watch Shinji, BE Shinji.

    Nervous and jittery? Can’t calm yourself down before a big test? Be like Ayanami Rei and drink some LCL – look how calm she was before every battle!

    Wanna be genki and energetic in the morning like Asuka? One glass of LCL provides 100% goddess and motherly goodness you can’t find in other juices – don’t accept immitations, go for the best!

  2. How about Eva Pilot cockpit condoms? “Get yours tonight with Rei, Asuka, or if you prefer big sister types, Misato, or even Doc Akagi!”

    “Don’t let Shinji and his dad be the only ones scoring, wear the one and only weapon that even Seele’s afraid of!”

    “Be Shinji and repopulate the earth with your Asuka!”

    “Stud-sized and ribbed for the pleasure of horny Misatos in your life!”

    “Copulate Eva-style, we’re so sure that she WILL be so impressed or we’ll refund you with a life sized Eva(condom, that is)!”

    “There’s a right sized tree of life for everyone!”

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