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Moetics: My Otaku Life, Part 3 Fin

Part 3: Finale

7. The Paradise Lost: USA

I. Freedom

Until this day, I still remember all the girls I fell in love from my adolescent years. I will remember them forever even if this body deteriorates and perishes. But, I can never meet them again because they are all grown old, probably married up and having kids. Reality ruins my memory of school uniform eternal feminine. They have to be eternal in me. But in reality, they are impermanent, just like Sailor uniform covered with Sakura petals like Da Capo’s song… Sakura is so evanescent. People from the East Coast knows exactly what I’m talking about, especially from the D.C. area. They are very impermanent like Sakura. They are lost forever like Sakuya-hime. So, what was the point of staying in Japan?

The Paradise Lost is the School Lost. School should have been my paradise. Etymologically, the word “school” comes from σχολή (schole) in Greek. It meant “leisure, pastime, free time.” Yes, a time for freedom. Thus, school is supposed to be the land of free. Yes, school should be a free place where ren-ai (romance) would flourish, where the giggling and laughter of beautiful maidens take place. I wanted to immerse myself in that paradise. That’s why when I see gakuen-rabukome (school romantic comedy), I always get really emotional. It totally takes me back to the past.

However, the real high school was the Asura world. Yanki were roaming around like hungry wolves, and girls were following them like strayed cats. It was simply madness. And that was the time I began to think, “What the hell is wrong with this world!” It was simply not right. I really hoped Sailor Moon would beat the hell out of them, and liberate us from their tyranny. And when I turned 17, I read the Declaration of Independence, the best document ever written in the world history by Thomas Jefferson. Reading a Jeffersonian document totally changed my outlook on life. From that moment, I was an American patriot and a freedom lover. I was a freedom seeker. Freedom was my path. Yes, 求道者 (kyūdōsya). A path-seeker. And my hope was America. Since then, I was aiming at America, the land of free, at least get out of this defiled land of Yamato.

Freedom was the reason I wanted to come to America since I couldn’t experience any freedom in Japan, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down society. At school, at work, no matter where you were, we would get hammered. It was ridiculous. Plus, there was no skinship. No skinship, no happy. Just like that Hong Kong proverb, “No love, no happy.” That’s why Otaku went underground and became hikikomori. Yes, in fact, they became Underground Man. Therefore, I made a life time decision to pass Ellis Island, and finally I made it to America, the land of free. “May Goddess of Liberty bless me!”

However, America was not what I dreamed in my school years. It turned out to be totally different from what I imagined. It was not America but NAFTA. NAFTA was my reality, i.e., 3-D. I should call it naftaesque. Yes, American reality was pretty naftaesque. What kind of country was this? It was totally different from the Hollywood movies and MTV videos I saw. I thought the West, especially America, was the place for freedom, where people were enjoying freedom every night. Even in Kiss x Sis, an anime with full of skinship, two big sisters tell their younger brother while having skipship, “This is a normal greeting in Europe and America.”

Kiss x Sis is a bit going too far, but it tells how America is freedom-embracing. Evident in Hollywood films and MTV shows, and of course Girls Gone Wild and notorious Sex And The City, America was free enough for me. American women were so sexually assertive that Lenny Kravitz had to tell them to stay away from him. I was like, “Yes, American women!” And also, the Star Spangled Banner was originally the theme song of the Anacreontic Society, praising Bacchus and Venus, wine and women, i.e. eroticism. And Venus, a Roman erotic goddess of the Romance language cultures, is crystallized in the French/Italian movie La Matriarca (English title “The Libertine”). That’s why I came to worship the West. Historically, freedom came from the West. Declaration of Human Rights, Bill of Rights, American revolution, French revolution, worker’s rights, civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights, and green movement. And the greatest country in the West was of course the United States of America. That is why I wanted to be a part of this freedom embracing civilization.

In turn, growing up in Japan, I couldn’t be proud of that country, its imperialist history was gloomy, committing tons of atrocity in wars, and humiliating defeat with nuclear destruction. The Japanese society was too rigid, too structured, too formal, and too ritualistic. Even though Gen. MacArthur banned aristocracy and dissolved the Emperor cult, making Hirohito declare that he was a human, it is still aristocratic, and crony capitalism runs amok. A recent resignation of Hatoyama and Ozawa tells that. And no female Emperor is allowed in Japan under the notorious Salic law. Taiikukai-kei (equivalent to Jock) machismo rules the country. Monarchism is not fair because it is contrary to democracy. And there was no freedom of expression. If you speak out against the monarch, the domestic terrorists would resort to violence. Thus, the media never criticize the Emperor. The then mayor of Nagasaki city was shot by an imperial extremist because he said Hirohito had responsibility in WWII. It was a Theo Van Gogh moment.

But in America, you can march with the pictures of Bush or Obama with Hitler mustache. We can say our President is like a Nazi. Nobody will get shot. Glenn Beck can make fun of the First Children, but he won’t get killed because of that. But in Japan, people will get bullets when they bad-mouth Akihito and his imperial family. It’s like bad-mouthing prophet Muhammad in Islamic nations. Even in a monarchy like UK, freedom to speak out against the monarch is protected. They have the fundamental right to criticize the authority. But in Japan there is no Sex Pistol screaming, “God save the Queen, she ain’t no human being!” The Tea Party movement is impossible in Japan. The American people historically have spilled blood to defend the 1st Amendment, and also with the leadership of the Gipper defeated the Soviet gulag regime. American President, the defender of freedom, America = freedom. So I had high hope in a free country. That was the kind of America I dreamed. Thus, I moved to the land of free.

But, as I lived in America, I figured it was all lie. By the time I came, Bushite monarchism ruled, and America was even more macho than Japan. I warn any otaku watching Kiss x Sis and thinking America is a free country. Kiss x Sis is misleading. Yamada from B gata H kei also says America is liberal (or “libertine” might be a better word? As Patrick Hentai says, “Libertine or Death!“). She is clearly misleading. I can tell from my experience living in America. And after that tragedy in Virginia caused by allegedly a love-shy Korean student, Asian students probably got backlash just like Muslim students did after 9/11. That’s why I haven’t been able to get any. Asians are the minority model, but we barely see any Asian men dating interracially in the Hollywood films.

Years ago, I read Barack Obama’s Dreams From My Father in which he talks about his high school friend Ray, a black-American, who claimed he couldn’t get any because he was black, and Asian girls were worse for they had internalized racism, so they wouldn’t go out with Ray. And that was in one of the most multicultural states in America, Hawaii. And what’s worse, I am an immigrant with weird accent. I’m not even seen as an American. I am totally the Other to them. Yes, I’m foreign. If I read Dreams From My Father much earlier, I would not have come to America. The only source of info was Hollywood films, so I was lied to. My freedom has been trampled upon.

I was exalted when Obama won. I was so happy that we finally defeated racism. It was unimaginable 20 years ago. All the world celebrated his victory. We’ve come a long way. However, despite his awesome historical victory, despite high hope for change, as the time has gone by, I have come to realize that nothing has changed. I still can’t get any. After his victory, I thought about quitting Otaku, but women are still the same, they don’t objectify me. So I can’t be a part of the amalgam of America. I’m still an alien. I’m alienated from society like a hikikomori in Japan. It is much easier for immigrant girls to get married with American dudes than for immigrant boys with American girls. Unless you’re a macho man like Schwarzenegger marrying a Kennedy. And for soshoku-kei immigrant boys, we can never get to see a green card, but a yellow card, and the worst, a red card.

I was personally offended when Birthers tried to make Obama a foreign-born. Some of them are claiming that he is not actually an American but a Kenyan. They don’t know what is like to be an alien. Sting also sings about what is like to be an alien in New York. Anyway, why can’t an immigrant run for President? Aren’t we all equal? Naturalized citizens are forever foreign then. If any U.S. citizen has right to run for President, then we don’t have this stupidity like birthers. It’s very unfortunate that Schwarzenegger lost his political credibility that totally killed the possibility of a constitutional amendment. So, foreign-borns will never be fully integrated into America.

Estrangement, alienation, and isolation, i.e. anomie. So, I’m still an outcast today in the New World like I was in Japan. Probably I will be questioned in Arizona because of my foreign accent. A nation of immigrants? E Pluribus Unum? Really? Then, why am I feeling alienated? It doesn’t sound like utopia, does it?

After all, I’ve come to realize America is still the 3-D world. It’s not 2-D. America is not a paradise nor the Promised Land that Martin Luther King had seen on the mountaintop. Since then, I haven’t been able to trust any politician. It’s useless to believe in change. I’m still an alien, alienated from 3-D, a disengaged Otaku having a broken relationship with the naftaesque world. I want to achieve oneness with girls so I can be part of the American community. But that has constantly been proven to be impossible.

Statue of Libertine

II. Nikushoku-kei vs Soshoku-kei

What’s worse, according to Bill O’Reilly,

“they [women] like macho men in the United States, because we don’t have the health care system. In countries where you are physically not secure, women go for the warrior/protector. In countries where you are physically secure, where you have access to everything that can make — they don’t need the warrior.”

I came to the wrong country, supposedly the freest country on earth, but freedom is not simply there for us. Freedom is only limited to Nikushoku-kei dudes. Soshoku-kei boys, nice sensitive guys finish last. So, in America, nice guys are the last man. Earlier this year, Obama signed the health care bill, and if what O’Reilly said was true, I would have been all for Obamacare. The better the health care system is, the more desirable Otaku are. Limited resources are the root of violence. Therefore, if resources become more accessible, violence will decrease. In fact, the main reason that bonobos are far more peaceful than chimpanzees is availability of resources according to Richard Wrangham, a British primatologist from Harvard University. Thus, girls will be preferring sensitive guys over violent dudes. But that’s not the case, at least I have never seen any. I know this because I came from a country where the health care system was excellent, with the highest life expectancy rate in the world, but I couldn’t have any skinship with girls. No girl had made an obentou (lunch box) for me. Girls still preferred nikushoku-kei. I never had any girl hit on me, but instead treated me like trash. They didn’t need the aggressive warrior, but they still went for them. Maybe for bonobos, it works when they have access to everything without competition, but for humans, male violence is still prevalent. It will take too long to see the world without male violence in our lifetime. So, I can’t count on Obamacare to rescue me. Obamacare is hopeless. After all, Obama is a 3-D person, not 2-D. Why should I have a great expectation for him?

So, why do girls still want the warrior even though we don’t need hunters to have access to resources? But why do they still need a macho fighter? Why do they still need the protector? What is their threat? What are they afraid of? What is their physical insecurity?

Their insecurity comes from macho men. That’s why girls choose violent dudes to protect themselves from violent dudes. We needed these people to protect from the beasts when we lived in the wild. But not anymore, but evolution hasn’t been catching up because macho men have become the new wild beasts. So, basically girls protect themselves from the wild beasts by taming another beast. Beauty and The Beast depicts the world as it is. Having a tamed wolf (dog) as a pet to repel the wolves. It is a vicious cycle. Girls want their sons to be strong enough to survive in a violent world, so they marry up violent dudes, and pass down violent genes, and educating them to be “noble” beasts even though it’s just putting lipstick on a beast, but it’s still a beast. That’s why Sousuke is still popular.

That is like Togame using Shichika as her sword in Katanagatari. And what does Togame do? Trampling upon the 2nd Amendment! Taking away the right to bear arms from the people! It’s katanagari (sword hunt) by the big government. Thus, people lose independence. The same goes for women. They are utterly dependent on macho men for safety, security, and protection, so they are far from being independent. If women arm themselves with guns, they don’t need macho men. But instead of owning guns, they own macho men: walking WMD. Thus, feeding a sense of helplessness in women. This is the utmost reason why human beings are prevented from evolving.

Women can’t walk alone at night, yet they don’t bear arms. They still rely on violent dudes to protect themselves instead. And gun control, today’s katanagari, makes macho men more on demand. Thus, it goes against evolution. Under gun control, we can’t have the sword, so we need to beg macho men to protect us. In California, we can’t even own a nunchaku. Thus, macho men are going amok, and their aggressiveness dominates America. It’s a nanny state by Nikushoku-kei men. That’s why a nanny is macho man with machine guns. That is what America is. This gun hunt eventually leads to an ultimate nanny state. If only we pass down non-violent gene…

America is highly a crime society. We can’t walk alone at night. There are just too much violence: terrorism, murder, rape, torture, robbery, mugging, extortion, street fight, gang war, domestic abuse, and so on. If there’s violence, there’s no freedom. Terrorists still threaten our freedom everyday. The Comedy Central just self-censored South Park after receiving a death threat from Muslim extremists. The G-pen succumbs to the sword. I can’t believe it. This is like the Japanese media never dare to make fun of the monarch. As long as violent criminals exist, we are not truly free. But we can’t just sit and do nothing, waiting for them to go away.

Thus, we need violence to counter violent extremists. The government, historically always a violent entity, a force, is a necessary evil. Gansters and police officers are both physically threatening. Violence with counter-violence. Devil must be driven out with devil. Yoma (monster) must be driven out with yoma like Claymore. Meet evil with evil. Vicious cycle. Bad karma. That’s why women prefer violent men over peaceful boys. Their psychology is like Stockholm syndrome. They are crazy about violent kidnappers, dreaming about getting kidnapped by a macho man in shining armor on a white horse. We live in a society where violent men are taking girls hostage. That’s why security moms dominate voting booths.

Tolstoy wrote War And Peace, but in reality it’s War Over Peace. Violence over peace. Peace through strength means Peace through violence. Yet, at least we want to replace violent dudes with gun powder. Peace through gun power. Women don’t need macho men but weapon. Otherwise, macho men will overprotect and abuse women. So, gun hunt is detrimental to women empowerment, thus it is detrimental to feminism. Gun is the cause of violence? No, violent men are. Guns don’t kill people, but violent men do. What we need is not gun control, but violent men control. And this will be done by the women empowerment.

But, the mainstream media is telling women that they need a macho man. Romance novels are all about that. Fabio dupes girls with his nonsense smooth-talking, “I will be your shield and sword forever.” Then, a tough girl drops her sword, dives in his arms, and gets carried straight to bed. In turn, Otaku never gets Esmeralda. We are hikikomori in the attic of the Notre Dame. We had enough of the media spewing this garbage. The media’s message to girls, “the macho man is mightier than the sword.” That’s why the mainstream media are in favor of gun control. If women empower themselves with the 2nd Amendment, then they wouldn’t need macho men, so they would start dating soshoku-kei, and then eventually violent men would disappear. So it will be peace through peace.

Adolf Hitler also said in Mein Kempf, Our peace is not supported by the palm branches of a tearful pacifist and professional female mourner, but is founded by the victorious sword of a people of overlords” Hitler is advocating peace through violence. He was quoted to say, “The only useful are those who can throw a punch.” As long as overlords (demonic males) dominate the world, the world will be ruled by Hitler’s worldview. And the best way to avert that is the female empowerment. That will push the envelope to lead evolution and revolution.

I mean if women’s physical strength is equal to men’s, this wouldn’t be a problem. Women would be able to fight off rapists. It’s all based on body size. Muscle size matters. And the violent trait of macho men is the threat. Tall and buff dudes are very threatening. They are the one preventing human beings from evolving. Either women become stronger, or macho men should go extinct and only soshoku-kei boys will live. Otherwise, violence will continue to oppress our freedom.

That’s why women are extra-cautious all the time. And so are soshoku-key boys. For this reason, we are hesitant to go outside. Women can find a “rational” macho man to protect themselves, but soshoku-kei boys can’t. We don’t have anybody to protect us. Mahoro and Kurumi don’t exist. And since women go for nikushoku-kei, we can’t pass down our genes. So, hikikomori is an endangered species unprotected by the Treaty of Washington. I urge the U.N. to include hikikomori in the category also. For now the best thing we can do is withdraw and hide like Anne Frank during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands, the most ex-libertine place in the world (their freedom died with Theo Van Gogh’s assassination). That’s why Anne’s Diary is a bible for hikikomori. It’s a brutal world out there. Soshoku-kei boys are often the target of blanket party. Hence, it is better to play MMORPG or watch anime in our own room. But, we are despised as haijin (a person who got into hobby too much to have social life, literally “crippled person,” e.g., video game addiction).

In Hayate-no-gotoku Episode 15, Nagi, a NEET/hikikomori girl, is saying, “I think I would be a loser if I work.” In fact, citizens didn’t work in the ancient Greece. Labor was reserved for slaves and prisoners. Labor-free people were citizens. But today we pseudo-citizens are forced to work. Are we really “citizens”? We have right to vote and run for office, but not right to be free from labor? Man, by today’s Puritan Work Ethic standards, ancient Greeks would be seen as lazy bastards. Please don’t say “You are lazy.” Don’t we have the right to be lazy? The longer hours are always better in the corporate culture. Requesting shorter hours and longer vacations are frowned upon in NAFTA. So, puritanism is actually the slave morality. Labor is what prisoners do. Yes, labor is a punishment. Since the Eden expulsion, men have to cultivate the soil, and women have to go through labor: productive and reproductive pain. It is naftaesque absurdity that Dostoevsky experienced in prison. Why do free citizens have to do labor? Isn’t labor contrary to liberty/libertine? Didn’t Lincoln abolish slavery? And the word Libertine originally meant “an emancipated slave.” Thus, a libertine is the real citizen. Labor should be done by computers and robots. I-Fairy can take over that for us, so we can be free from labor, so we can be libertines. Sounds extreme? Well, extremism in the defense of libertine is no vice! Right to work is just as deceptive as Arbeit Macht Frei is. Therefore, the outside world is very deceptive. That is why hikikomori are extremely alerted.

The same goes for deers, they are very alerted, even a little noise in the bush will make them jump. However, deers in Japan don’t fear humans any more. They used to be very timid, shy, and extra-cautious. They didn’t come near humans. But, after the extinction of the Japanese wolves, now deers come down to city and approach humans to beg food. Once carnivorous beasts are gone, deer’s timidness has disappeared. So, if violent males disappear, women would be more assertive. They wouldn’t be shy anymore. They would be begging us to go out. Hence, the world without violence is better. The world without WMD is better. The world without Saddam Hussein is better. The world without Bin Laden is better. The world without Kim Jong-Il is better. The world without the alpha male is better. The world without violent males is better.

Sōshoku-kei are not threatening at all. We are sensitive nice guys. So, it should be natural that girls prefer us, but they don’t. And they even think we are disgusting to date. In fact in Japan, the media always report that Otaku may be the No.1 suspect whenever sex crimes occur. Some ill-informed social commentators always imply that the suspect is a Moe-figure-zoku. The media are clearly macho-biased. We have to break that prejudice. We need more Otaku in the media, but it is hard to break into that macho establishment.

Yet, we have an alternative. Anime-Otaku blogs are the revolutionary press to counter the macho media and the government propaganda. No wonder the Obama government doesn’t like blogs, and even tech-gadgets like iPhone, iPad and PS3 because these are empowering us. That’s how we fight back. The pen is mightier than the sword! Not the macho man. And Anime Diet is the epitome of freedom. We deserve the 1st Amendment Award. Otaku are the most peaceful people on earth. We protest peacefully. Soshoku-kei are the inheritor of Satyagraha that had a huge influence on Martine Luther King. We are the Filhos de Gandhy (children of Mahatma Gandhi).

Maybe in Sweden, girls may feel attracted to Sōshoku-kei if what O’Reilly is saying is true. I don’t know. I’ve never been there. Should I move to Sweden? At least, Swedish pop music like Cardigans sounds very feminine to me, even Krauser II praises Swedish pop in DMC. And a cardigan is an embodiment of femininity like Kurumi-chan. She must be Swedish. I mean American girls are the one supposed to be libertine. But, they are rather NAFTA girls than American girls. That’s why they aren’t libertine. So, Swedish girls are way ahead of American women. Shouldn’t America always be No. 1? Too bad America is behind. Ah, there may be a lot of Nikushoku-kei girls in Sweden. What a wonderful place… Probably I can get hit on by a girl like Yamada from B gata H kei. Yes, Swedish girls! Hit on me. Hunt me. I’m always available, baby! I always wear a red head scarf. I am a lamb for you.

But financially I can’t move to Sweden. We all have tough time in America now, the worst recession since Great Depression. I know the standard of living is relatively affordable in Latin-America, and I hear Latin-American girls are wild, but they exclusively prefer macho-men, especially in Brazil. Latin-America is still the Third World, where they have less resources available, so more macho men are bossing around. One time I was thinking about moving to Brazil, but I ain’t got no chance over there. I can’t attain freedom. Maybe, seeking freedom in 3-D was already a mistake, a very foolish thing to do. Ah, how tough it is to be sōshoku-kei…

So, the only hope I seek is in 2-D. And anime is the Promised Land, the land of free, so anime is real America. Through unity with moe, achieving oneness with moekko, we can enter the Kingdom of Moe. Yes, moekko is the real American woman. Yamada is the real American woman! And that’s how I can be a real American. Not a phony 3-D American. We can be the true first man. So, why worry about getting Green Card? Moe can already make me an American spiritually. Yes, moe is freedom that I seek. And moe is the path. So, I’m a kyudosha, and in this case, 求萌者 kyūmoesha (moe-seeker) at the same time. Thus, our freedom is found in anime, and moe is salvation for us.

Nikushoku-kei girl towering over soshoku-kei boy.

III. Socioeconomics

The market, which Jesus of Nazareth drove off from the temple, is a measurement of our pain. The market has declared that we are unmarketable, unproductive, and unreproductive. The market itself is the world of megalothymia. There is a constant humiliation in it. And in a severe case, this results in agoraphobia. The word agora means “marketplace,” and phobia means “fear” in Greek, so it is a fear of the market, which largely affects a huge population of hikikomori. Welcome to NHK (NAFTA Hikikomori Kyokai). We have been constantly belittled that we can’t do anything, and we can’t be anything we want in reality.  And reality (3-D) is the market. And the market is zetsubou (despair).

On the other hand, anything is possible in anime. Oh, my Goddess! Ochimono like Verdandi can fall from the sky and save the wretched like me. Or, I can be a hero to save Brunhilde. I can be Tristan with that Wagnerian music. I can be a life guard like Hayate-kun, a heroic butler saving his mademoiselle from drowning. Ronald Reagan used to be a life guard too. Or I can be saved by a maid leader, Maria-sama, almost identical to Mariel, voiced by the same exquisite goddess-incarnated seiyū Tanaka Rie. Either way, I can achieve girls’ acceptance and recognition.

Yet in reality, I was born soshoku-kei, so there has been no demand from girls. Thus, no market. How can you be a product when there’s no demand? Supply-side economy is impossible without the demand. And without the demand, there’s no productivity. Simply a left-over in a garbage can to be thrown into a dumpster. A dumpster is where we end up. But I always dream that I will go from a dumpster to the dragon rider, but that won’t happen in reality. If we are not a valuable product, then we are unproductive and unmarketable, and unreproductive. Therefore, we are going to face involuntary celibacy, or incel, which is basically involuntary sterilization. In other words, involuntary abstinence. So, I am pretty much invisible in the market.

Sōshoku-kei are the minority now. So, our numbers are limited. Then, we’re supposed to be highly valued because economy is all about unlimited wants over limited resources. We are limited resources. So we should be desirable. But where are girls? Yeah, where are they? None! They always say, “I already got boyfriend, sorry.” And later I learn some of them are not actually seeing anybody. How hurtful is that! What a melancholic world! Belonging to make-gumi (loser-class), it only brings me melancholy like Haruhi. Only Mikuru‘s bouncing bakunyū would alleviate my pain, just temporarily though…

That’s why we need Yamada. She is the demand. Her existence will suddenly make us worthy. She makes us a winner, and we will be able to join kachi-gumi (winners-class). Otherwise, we will wither and vanish like a haze. We continue to be invisible like Echo. No girl recognizes us. When girls play peckaboo (fort/da game), いないいないばあ (inai-inai-bā in Japan), we are always fort (invisible) to them. Fort = unproductive, unreproductive, unmarketable. We are always alienated and separated, thus we always suffer from separation anxiety. Even though we vent out, “I’m here!” like Celie from Color Purple or “tá mé anseo (I’m here)” like Celty from Durarara!, we don’t exist in the eyes of girls. Thus, we are invisible in the marketplace.

Aristotle was wrong by saying, “But he who is unable to live in a society…must be either a beast or a god.” Hikikomori too! He who is invisible in the market must be a god. His hand is invisible according to Adam Smith. And hikikomori too. Yes, that means we are equal to a god. So, we will continue to be hikikomori. But even though a god is invisible, he is recognized. He is worshiped. We aren’t. If only we were recognized with a kiss…like this OP of Kimikiss Pure Rouge. “Kiss Kiss Koi-wo-shiteru-yo!” Yes, a dude drops a paper because of kiss. He is too ecstatic to hold himself together. Ah, I really want a kiss! Even Yamada (Yukarin) sings, “Kiss me, baby!” I want Yamada’s kiss because her kiss is on my list of the best things in life. Just like fish needs water, Otaku needs kiss. Without kiss, a mermaid would die. She would fail to be human. Without skinship, we don’t feel like we’re living. We don’t feel like human. We don’t feel worth living. There’s no raison d’être without a kiss. The most elegant form of skinship! Kiss is our ultimate bliss! Give me kiss or give me death! That’s why a hikikomori needs CPR from moekko. Yes, a kiss from moekko like Steel Angel Kurumi! Resuscitate our dead body! A miracle that starts with a kiss. Yes, a kiss can make us a god! Her prāna or chi will save us.

We’re already in the 21st century, so it’s not human to fight with horns to get a female. Only beasts would do that. Macho men are more beast-like, and we soshoku-kei are more evolved to be human. Old-type Sousuke will disappear, and New-type Sousuke will emerge. He is the new Siegfried. Chidori and Capt. Tessa will prefer new Sousuke. But the market dictates that you have to be a beast to attain sex. That’s why macho men are still dominating with violence. With Puritan machismo, sex is only available to more violent males. Thus, males have to be more violent to get laid. So, the violent DNA remains strong. It is a vicious cycle. Whoever has the biggest horn will get all females. Yes, the alpha males indeed. In the elephant seals world, only 4 % of males get to have 88% of the whole copulations according to Richard Dawkins. Aren’t we supposed to be more evolved than elephant seals?

The same goes with imperialism. The mightiest military power rules the world like the British Empire before WWI. Now, America has the largest amount of nukes on earth, possessing the highest number of WMD, thus America dominates the world. America is like a beef-eating bully on steroids. America needs to go green, and become vegetarian. It’s time for America to stop taking steroids. We don’t need the horn in humanity. We just don’t. But that’s how the world is right now. Instead of Beauty and Otaku, it is Beauty and the Beast. And it’s not going to change anytime soon. That’s why I’m despaired with 3-D.

As you already know, I loathe men’s world. The market is exactly a macho world. If you imagine men’s room at school, you get the idea. It’s filthy. You can tell from vulgar graffiti on the wall. Violence and hatred, war against all other men. Homophobia is due to this machoism. Dog eats dog world. In this cruel and brutal competitive world, I am the one who needs to be saved. I want to take refugee in the beautiful maidens’ world that ordinary dudes can never get to engage like Lillian All Girls High School and the Ichigo dormitory. It was a mistake that I was born male. That fact hinders me from being around girls. I want to be in an all girls’ school but unfortunately I’m a dude, so I can’t.

I don’t really care if America is capitalism or socialism. As long as I can have romantic pleasure with girls, I have no grudge toward anybody and any society that is constantly lying to us. The difference between capitalism and socialism is just whether the hand is invisible or not. For socialism, the hand is of a big brother. Not oneesan (big sister). But it is still the market. It’s strictly based on marketability, productivity, and reproductivity. It’s based on violent machismo whether it is a private sector or a public sector. It’s like the temple before Christ drove the merchants out, yes, den of thieves. Business leaders, religious leaders, and the government, they were all behind Christ’s crucifixion. We will still be judged by how marketable, productive, and reproductive we are. If we try to live beyond these criteria, or at least trying to transcend them, we will get shunned. We will face persecutions. We will be ostracized and alienated as outcasts. In a worst case, we will end up like Christ on the cross.

And what’s worse in America, puritanical ethics is trampling upon our freedom. And ironically American puritans are worshiping God which has recently become the Chinese communist machismo. When they recite the Lord’s Prayer, they are asking China to forgive America’s debt. Therefore, not only NAFTA but also the global market, a combination of capitalism/communism and puritanism, is all den of bullies trampling upon our freedom. So it is double-binding economically and ethically.

Since no girl's demand for otaku (soshoku-kei boys, snags, NEET/Hikikomori), no market for us. Thus, we're unmarketable in NAFTA, end up incel.

IV. Indigo Children

We are the Indigo children. We can’t be bound by the socioeconomic system. Indigo is Ai in Japanese, so Aoi-chan from Ai-yori-Aoshi (“bluer than indigo,” or symbolically “Aoi-chan of indigo” since aoi means “blue”) is one of my moekkos. Ah, its anime song, reminds me. This anime is already 8 years ago. Wow, time is so quick. Each year, each month, each week, each day, each hour, each minute, each second, we’re getting older. I never want to grow old. Help me! I really want to stay young forever. If I could, I want to be a high school student again and remake my 17 years old life, which was supposed be the most beautiful day of my life. The climax of leisure. But I couldn’t have any skinship with girls, of course never exchanging kisses, and even holding hands. I didn’t even receive any obento from girls. So, it was the age of 17 that I was looking for myself, read the Declaration of Independence, and stepped over the rainbow.

The legendary Inoue Kikuko said 17 is bittersweet; 16 is a sweet kid and 18 is a bitter adult. Probably her theory is close to Britney’s “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.” Something in between, a limbo state. Moratorium stage. An adult-child. But I will elaborate more of that. 17 years old, usually 2nd year (junior) of high school in Japanese education system, is top notch. The 1st year is usually adjusting to a new school environment, and the senior year is the time for the college entrance exam war. So, the 2nd year is the best time to enjoy school life, especially ren-ai (romance). It is the ideal state, the Paradise indeed.

But they failed me. They ruined my school life. And my high school year is over. It’s the past. And I can never go back. Ah, impermanence is evanescence. Everything falls apart in 3-D. It’s depressing. A sense of nihilism puts me even more into anime. During my pessimistic years, Aoi-chan was the first 2-D girl I had a moe on. Indigo hair color, and indigo kimono! Perfect for Indigo children. And that outdated Taisho hairstyle! In such a cruel world like this, and in times like these, that kind of moekko is who we need. The epitome of gentleness, softness, tenderness, and sweetness. What a relief. I wish there were more girls like her. Yet, evolutionarily challenged girls in 3-D prefer violent males who might commit massacre tomorrow. But moekko prefers snags like us, so she is definitely an eternal feminine of the Indigo children.

8. The Paradise Regained

Will To Moe

Here’s Otaku’s lamentation, “I have never been able to happily mingle with girls, so I’ve never had a good time as a dude. I want to be a girl, so I can mingle with girls without any difficulties.” Yes, I want to be a girl. I wish I could be born as a girl. That’s why Hideyoshi, Miyanokouji Mizuho, and Natsuru are really my ideals. Yet, that is impossible to turn into a girl in reality. So, I hate myself as a dude. Yes, it’s self-loathing. Only in anime, I can forget that I’m a dude. Whenever I watch gender-switch anime, it is very liberating. But in 3-D, all I can do is cosplay/crossplay, becoming an anime character.

I am 17 at heart. Spiritually I am eternally 17 years old. High school supposed to be the climax of my adolescent years, but it wasn’t. I failed to experience that. Inoue Kikuko created a cult called the 17-sai-kyo. How awesome is that! She also thinks like me. But physically she isn’t, though she claims she is 17 years old plus xxxxx days. Once past, nobody can be 17 again. I can’t be 17 again. It is the past. I wish I could remake my life by pressing the reset button in a video game. I’m from a Buddhist culture, but I’m not sure if reincarnation really exists, so I can never rely on the next life to become 17 again. Girls may evolve to be more assertive in dating, but that will take too long. And that’s impossible within my lifespan. We’re already dead by then when they completely evolve and there are no more macho men bossing around. This life is simply too short. I wish I could be immortal and young forever. I want to gain eternal youth, but that’s impossible. Therefore, only pessimism remains. I feel nihilistic. Therefore, life is Saudade.

But in 2-D, we can be 17. As a 17 years old high school kid, I want to remake my Eden. That’s why I have moe in 2-D world. It is physically impossible to be 17 again, but eternal youth is moetically possible. That’s how I attain the Paradise Regained. That’s how we attain freedom. For these reasons, we Otaku are the true freedom seekers, thus we are the true Americans. And that is the essence of moe. Yes, Saudade is the Will to Moe.

Thus, Moe is the path to victory. We Otaku are the real winner!

Hideyoshi, the most renowned crossplayer


Thank you very much for reading my moetics. I appreciate your continuous support. I love to hear your kind of moetics from you. May Moe bless you all.

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