Meet Our New Sponsor and Make a Contract!

BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE!

APRIL 1 2011—It is with great pride and with excitement that this site, formerly known as Anime Diet, has acquired a new sponsor: the entity known best as Kyubey. Starting today, the site is henceforth known as Kyubey Diet and will immediately begin fulfilling the mission set out by its new owner.

“We are excited to be joining Kyubey’s noble mission,” former senior editor and co-founder Gendo “Mike” Ikari said. “When I first heard about Kyubey’s intention to save the universe, I thought to myself: how can we not be part of this cause? It aligns with the values that we have always held dear at Anime Diet and I can’t think of anything better to do with our reach and influence but to help recruit magical girls to help save the world from witches. I mean, the Bible even commands putting witches to death. Right?”

As a first step in the new initiative, Kyubey and Kyubey Diet extends the following contractual offer to all girls, aged 12-16. If you are a reader in that demographic, we invite you to consider this high calling to become a magical girl. Make your wish come true. Save the world. If you are not a girl, or a teenager, don’t worry. We will make you one first.

Make a contract with Kyubey now!

Kyubey will then review all the applications and choose the ones with the greatest potential. Could you be the most powerful magical girl in the universe? You just might! Why not find out? Sign up today!


We actually will read these and perhaps feature the most creative and interesting entries. No personal information required. Freely inspired by the similar posts here and here. Have fun, everyone!

9 thoughts on “Meet Our New Sponsor and Make a Contract!”

  1. XD This is so much win in so many ways. (Sadly, I’m just a bit too old. I have the same feeling of rejection as I did when she I first encountered pedobear.

    I second the “post responses” comment.

  2. On behalf of Kyubey, Kyubey Diet is in fact recording and saving the Puella Magi contracts that are being made today! It will decide at a later date to post the best wishes that are to be granted in exchange for the glorious calling to be a magical girl.

    So readers—sign up today and YOU just might be a star as well as a heroine!

  3. LOL. Too bad I’m not a teenage girl. I always wish I was a girl, especially bittersweet 17. For sex change, that will fall on Okama Day, April 4th.

  4. Heh. Adorable. But I’ll pass on the contract. No point in falling into grief. But, hey, can I pet you? Without the contract? Pleeeeez? I’ll give you cupcakes. If you lend me some magical girl blood I’ll make blood cupcakes. I just want to give you hugs.

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