Wreck-It Ralph, champion for the wretched idiots

Wow, usually I don’t really watch Disney, since it’s a imperialist corporation, Mickey Mouse patent law and all that. But so many friends were talking about it, and they were my anime friends who strongly recommended this film to me, so I decided to give it a try. So, I went to an AMC theater all alone by myself, and when the film started, oh man, I felt America was the greatest country on earth. That visual, my gosh, if Japanese anime is the greatest 2D animation in the world, I think America excels in 3D films. Just the introduction of Disney clip blew me away. It’s the same feeling that Yasujiro Ozu had when he saw Gone With The Wind in Singapore during WWII. He then was convinced that Japan didn’t stand a chance of winning the war against America. Yes, China is rising to the top now, but I think from watching American films, that would be way ahead.

So, at the AMC theatre, I saw a lot of children there, oh yes, Disney films are family oriented, and I saw a handful of little girls too, yes, real lolis! I saw some of them grabbing a hand of her father. Man, he must be a very happy man. I want to have a daughter! And yes, I saw a young man accompanying a little girl. Could he be her cousin, or onii-chan??? He must be a happy man too! I wish I had a sister! Ahh, why wasn’t I surrounded with female relatives that were younger than my age? Lack of sisters and she-cousins, or nieces, that was detrimental to my developmental psychology, which pushed me into a corner and turned me into a kimoi otaku, yes, kimo-ota. So, I have to make up my past life with over-dose of moe. That’s the only way I can make up my paradise lost: seishun (youth).

Ralph and Vanellope.

So, here it is, Wreck-It Ralph. Yes, Ralph is a huge guy plays a bad guy, not sexually attractive, but he helps out Vanellope, a glitch girl, to be in the NASCAR race. Yes, Ralph reminds me of One from The City Of The Lost Children, a French film made by the same director who did Amélie. Yes, One and Ralph are both dumb, but have really a wonderful onii-chan personality. Yes, that’s why City of Lost Children is so awesome, because that film has a loli called Miette, probably the cutest yōjo I’ve ever seen in 3D. Yes, One becomes a onii-chan figure to Miet, helping her get out of the trouble. And she was among the early 20th century proletarian kids, and as a proletarian boy, I feel really close to that loli, Miette. So, I want to be her onii-chan also!

One and Miette.

Oh yes, people with weak intellectual faculty. I myself is a slow learner, but not slow enough to be qualified for learning disability. Yes, it’s really tough. You’re way lower than the average, but not bad enough to be cared and protected as disability. It’s like some county healthcare system. You’re clearly not a middle class, you’re a low wage earner, but your income is not low enough to apply for healthcare. Yes, a handful of these people have a wonderful personality, and they usually do well on job interviews. So, they usually leave a good impression on interviewers, but once they start working, they end up getting fired in the first three days. It’s horrible.

A slow person will understand if you take time to explain and go through step by step. But the business world is like an airplane, it can’t slow down, otherwise it goes stall and at worst a plane crash. That’s what market economy is. I mean capitalism. So, socialism is better for the way lower than average but not at the bottom folks. And that’s why I feel Wreck It Ralph champions them. Yes, Ralph is our hero indeed!

Yes, just like business, girls are just impatient as well, so we do bad on dating. Within next three days, no more phone calls. But too bad Social Security doesn’t have dating disability. I could have applied one. I just wish that girls were more socialistic… Yes, in the business and dating world, even if there are helps from temp agencies and wing men and women, yes, matchmakers in business and dating, we do poorly. And Do It Yourself, you’re on your own, totally individualistic society like America and Japan (post-Koizumi). These make it even tougher.

And that’s what bossa nova is all about. Desafinado (out of tune). That song is about a loser who can’t play guitar and sing well, so he fails to impress any girl with his rustic music skills, but he says to one girl, “Though my song is out of pitch, look at my heart. My heart is in harmony.” Yeah, what counts is the heart, girl! But reality doesn’t go like that, clumsy chumps can’t get any, both money and women…

So, we need romantic socialism, or more crudely, sexual socialism, which is moe for me, well, I guess we don’t do well on sexuality, probably until I would be born ikemen in my next life. Marriage would be beyond my dream, so a sister figure is a good alternative for us. Sister is a partner by default, not sexually, but familially. Marriage is a contract, you need to fight to earn it, yet it’s breakable too. But imouto, both biological and spiritual, is unbreakable. That eternal bond is what we otakus probably want the most.

And yes, if my sister is happy, pursuing career, or having a good spouse, raising healthy kids, that would make my day. I mean in any form it takes if she’s healthy and happy, I’m good. I don’t need a spouse myself. I think Tora-san had that sense of security as onii-chan. And that kind of love was what Ralph was showing to a glitch girl, which was spectacular. Just admirable.

Yes, Ralph and One were onii-chan figures indeed. As well in Japan, we had Tora-san and Naked General. Nietzsche claimed Master Morality, but we otakus claim Onii-chan Morality, and Ralph and One are the embodiment of that. So, with loli and imouto, we will save the world! Imouto is our salvation!

Author: Monsieur LaMoe

A refugee from Japan. Live in NAFTA. Get hooked on Moe. Moe is opium? Twitter: @MonsieurLamoe

4 thoughts on “Wreck-It Ralph, champion for the wretched idiots

  1. Yes… MLM.. stab me some more in the chest.. with the fact that you actually wrote a review on something I haven’t seen yet. >_< (sighs) I want to see this movie.. never mind.. I am just grousing over the fact that I haven't had the chance to see this movie just yet. and yes I need to hurry and see it.. before it leaves the theaters.

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