No sister/nun moe this season? WTF?

I’ve been skimming through new animes this season, but have yet to find a sister character. Yes, a Roman Catholic nun. Did the anime industry finally have enough of it? What wrong with them? It’s never enough for me. I want more!

Mission-kei objectification

I yearn for a young nun at mission-kei school. Mission-kei school is very Christian, especially Catholic. And they started as prestigious all-girls’ schools after the Meiji Restoration (1868). So yes, rich daughters were sent to mission-kei schools. Indeed Christian education was a prerequisite for rich Japanese girls to produce good wives and wise mothers (良妻賢母). That was the role that women were expected to fulfill before WWII, until Gen. MacArthur came in and brought suffrage to women in Japan. Yes, the right to vote and run for office.

Yes, before the war, the Japanese education was very single-sex. Girls and boys were divided, thus, the concept of shojo and shonen emerged. The division of sex was a contributing factor that the Japanese still don’t have skinship as much as the Western people do even today. Thus, ad nauseum burusera shops. Craze for indirect skinship. In Japan, everything is indirect, even their communication style, not confrontational like Americans.

And now, thanks to MacArthur, public schools are mostly co-ed. But private schools, very elite ones, are still single-sex, a handful of which are religious schools. For girls, Christian schools, and for boys, Buddhist schools, evident in Marimite, Lilian All-Girls Academy and Hanadera All-Boys Academy. And yes, mission-kei schools are usually named after Saints. Like Sei-Lillian (St. Lillian). 聖 (sei) is “saint” in English. If you see this kanji, you will immediately know it’s a mission-kei all-girls school. Yes, an elite girls school, in other words, ojo-sama school! That’s why the naming itself is so moe, especially when we recognize that kanji, instantly we go buhii!

So, when I was a teen (at heart still seventeen), mission-kei school was an object of my fantasy. I mean a typical fantasy of every teenage boy. That was the time I really wanted to convert to Christianity. I so much wanted to enroll in mission-kei schools. But mostly, it was strictly single-sex back then. I know some all-girls schools were opening up, but social stigma would still be harsh back then. Plus, there weren’t any concepts close to soshokukei like today.

But now, the children’s population is getting smaller, so single-sex schools are going co-ed to survive. Otherwise, they would go bankrupt. So, this social situation reflects on anime, boys enroll in an all-girls school, and of course, its religion is Catholicism, and there is always a sister/nun character, like Maria-chan from Hanagai or Asia from High School DxD. Virtual paradise! I so envy these kids now!

Ahh, why am I not getting this right now! How I wish I could be born much later… I wish I was a teen in 3D right now. But now I’m too old to go to high school. How can I stop aging? I don’t want to be old! Help me! It’s so meaningless to be a born-again now, since I’m not a high school kid anymore. And there’s no way I can go back to seventeen. The opportunity has simply passed. How I wish life was like a video game, just hit the reset button and restart everything. If I were a teen, I would’ve definitely become a Christian, learned Latin, and with the Latin knowledge I could smooth-talk on sisters and then…perori…

At least, for now that’s my mousou (imagination, fantasy, or delusion). Since I’m a mousou-zoku (妄想族 spoof of bousouzoku “motorcycle gang”). Yes, that mousou is okazu (main dish) for Onani Master Kurosawa. My kind of anime diet. Since I can never get that in 3D, 2D is my last resort.

Sinful Sisterhood

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. – Jesus of Nazareth

Yes, I do love Christian girls. They are so moe. Yes, they always make me fantasize about them praying hard in public, but once in private they start self-humiliating themselves, hiding between the sheets from God like Adam and Eve hid themselves in the bush. Eternal damnation guaranteed. “The Lord is watching me.” Alternatively, “Maria-sama is watching me.” Yes, Maria-sama ga miteru!

Lady Madonna, as a Western Avalokiteshvara, is looking upon them sinning. Yes, and their ultimate sin is yuri! The garden of Yuri! The garden of otome (maiden, virgin), or otome no sono. Guilty pleasure is the most sinful! Virgin Mary now becomes a symbol of yuri! If I’m a girl, I would be definitely worshiping our Lady!

Ah, Darling Nikki in a sister costume. The ultimate sin is the ultimate pleasure. Oh yeah, the forbidden fruit tastes so awesome that Eve couldn’t resist. The Caligula effect: prohibition is so arousing. Totally moe element, which possesses moe pigs. A sister moaning Kyrie Eleison during onani. “Forgive me, my Lord. Lord, have mercy!” Oh, yes, the word onani is pretty biblical too. It’s based on the story of Onan.

When I was watching Welcome To NHK, I was so scared. I was like, “How did they get into my head?” I can’t read people’s mind. I don’t know what they’re really thinking. But that anime is completely reading what exactly I’ve been imagining: Misaki in a sister outfit touching herself! That’s why it got me scared. Same as Dostoyevsky novels. There’s always a character that is completely like me. I was like, “How did Dostoyevsky read my mind!” But he’s dead a long time ago, so he couldn’t know me. And NHK was like that also. How could they read my imagination? “Imagine all the sisters living life in yuri. You may say I’m a dreamer.” Exactly, I’m a wet dreamer! Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me!

Confession of a Feminist Mask

I have no choice but to be dead honest here, as a confession in front of the statue of Nuestra Señora. The thing is, I…I can’t help but see a sister as a reverse prostitute! In Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, Sonya Marmeladova is a prostitute but has a Christian heart. Yes, a sister quality she possesses! Yes, a prostitute but a sister at heart. And alternatively, a sister but a prostitute at heart can be deadly moe and even provocative! Either prostitute with a sister quality, or a sister with prostitute quality. And Zange-chan from Kannagi is totally the latter. The latter is definitely more provocative! Peropero!

Yes, that gap is what makes me go buhii! Yes, what makes it so moe! Just like the gap between tsun and dere, yan and dere, ahh, there has to be a word for it. Sacred but profane. A sabbatical girl going profane, sacrilegious, or “break Ramadan” so to speak. Sei-joku? Virgin/whore? Madonna-whore complex, or mahocon? Yes, we otakus are deadly mahokons!

I think that’s why Mary Magdalene was mistakenly attributed as a prostitute by Pope Gregory I. Yes, his mousou (delusion) made Mary a prostitute. That’s the settei (設定 setting) he created. Very otaku or rather hentai indeed, or I have to say “shinshi (gentleman)” rather than heitai. So, he had the exact same mentality with moe pigs! The pigs that are going to submerge in the lake of moe. If a sin is particularly sexual, buhibuhibuhi!

But we can’t go buhiii this season? How can that be? There’s nothing crueler than that for moe pigs! We live on it. It’s the fruit of life!

Our last hope: SISTER!