From the Diet 3 Daily –
Tokyo, Japan. Today has been declared a day of sticky memories as one of the members of Anime Diet has entered the Mega Playboy Academy in downtown Akiba.
“I got really sick and tired of people making fun of my sexuality just because I love all the Shojo shows under the rising sun, and I cried when Hiromi didn’t win that tournament in Ace Wo Narae, so I decided to go macho – with a gentler touch that will excite my fangirls.” Said Ikari “Mike” Gendo. “After all, drooling over Rei Ayanami and thinking her as Yui every night has taken too much toll on me, and I know it’s time for me to move on and stop blaming Shinji for the accident.”
“In any event, I’m sure they’ll take really good care of me at the Academy.”
Our sources indicate that at the Mega Playboy academy, the women are dressed in maid outfits, cheerleader uniforms, Maiko costumes, catgirl costumes, nurse outfits, and other fascinating clothing that many men seem to prefer.
“We’re most definitely a respected institution even though we’re still young,” said Yonagi Ishi, the director of the institute. “Our ladies have been trained properly every night. When a younger lady meets an older lady, the younger lady addresses the older one as ‘Oneesama’, and the older lady often greet her with a proper kiss, as Europeans do. We also allow longer and more affectionate kisses as they do in our more advanced training videos.”
Sadly, the exact location of the academy remains a secret except to people with high prestige that actually have problems meeting women. Our reporters are doing their best to infiltrate the compound as we speak.
Ray is nowhere to be found. We believe he’s been a member of the academy for quite a long time.
LIES. MIKE DOES NOT GO FOR 3D.
The Office of Michael Huang denies that he has, in fact, watched Ace wo Nerae at any point in time. It also denies that he cries much at all toward an anime. Unless it is Marmalade Boy. Or Honey and Clover. But only those.
Mike, who’s that red-head girl in a plug suit that I saw you with??? What’s with her awful German?