Tag Archives: humor

“Ray Hu’s” True Identity Revealed

BUFFALO, NY – Following a member of Section 9, our reporter busted down Ray Hu’s door and we have discovered his real identity.”Ray Hu”, or according to his driver’s license, Ricardo James Hunter, was hiding in his grandparents’ basement in upstate New York. When we found him, he was downing a can of Bud, scratching his privates, and viewing a certain anime involving kendo women, mermaids, and bikini girls with machine guns.

The 5’4″ white male tried to put up a struggle, but fell on his face into a puddle of his own puke.

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Editorial: Why We Love Owen S

Owen S, the Great and Illustrious Mind and Founder of the Anime Blogging Collective, is our noble master! Born in a faraway land, it was his initiative to begin the Glorious Revolution which would overthrow the AnimeNano and Animeblogger imperial running dogs’ regime and lead us toward the shining path of the Collective. From the beginning, Anime Diet has stood proudly with the Dear Founder as he led more and more of the blogging world to the light, to the wave of the future: the Blogging Collective, in which all speak as one.

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Hirano Aya Not Performing Hahiru Sequel

Hirano Aya

TOKYO – Today, Hirano Aya announced to the cyber public that she will not be performing voice acting for the upcoming Suzumiya Hahiru sequel at a press conference at Ishita Electronics in Akiba. The announcement was made after her private performance in a closed room for the 偽prime minister of Japan, Taro Aso.

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Revived Geneon USA Licenses Everything

GRIMES, IA–The once moribund Geneon Entertainment (USA), its fortunes revived by an anonymous $5 billion bequest, has licensed all past, present, and future anime for North American release.

“This is a huge victory for the future of anime in America,” Eiji Orii, the CEO of Geneon USA. “Now there will be no more need for fansubs of any kind, ever again. We would like to thank our anonymous donor for his kindness and generosity in making this possible.” When asked for any clues to the identity of the donor, Mr. Orii smiled slyly. “Let’s just say that he is not Japanese and he runs a very large review site. That’s all I’ll say.”

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Pokemon Kids Terrorize Kanagawa Neighborhood

Pikachu

KANAGAWA PREFECTURE – At 3 AM today, children in the prefecture of Kanagawa who watched too many Pokemon episodes with lights off on purpose began to report dizziness, headaches, vomiting, and an urge to attack adults with squeals and eating human flesh.

As most of the kids were sent to the hospital right away, the first victims were the nurses, and then, the doctors.

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Gendo ’08: A Change the Whole World Can Believe In!

(HT to Furu Anime Panikku. Transcript courtesy of the Diet-3 Daily)

Yes, fellow citizens of Earth, the rumor is true. I, Ikari “Mike” Gendo, am running for the highest office not only in the land but in the world. The announcement went forth publicly for the first time at Animazement 2007, and I have launched my campaign to unite not just Democrats and Republicans, not just America, but the entire world in a vision of peace, harmony, and instrumentality.

When I am elected, I promise to the American people that I will

  • Work in a “bipartisan” manner with the Congress to ensure passage of the Homeland Security Reorganization Act of 2008. Henceforth, the Homeland Security Department, the Congress, the Directorate of National Intelligence and all its associated 19 agencies, and the Supreme Court will be known as SEELE.
  • Refocus the efforts of our military toward the most pressing threats of the future. Henceforth, the Department of Defense will be renamed The Department of Angelic Warfare. The Pentagon shall be moved underground and rebuilt as a pyramid.
  • Massively increase funding for scientific research under the auspices of a new cabinet level department coordinating research funds, which will be known as NERV. I will once again make America the leader in scientific advancement through Project EVA!
  • Begin the most ambitious overhaul of our welfare and entitlement system in all history, while lowering taxes for all through the Human Instrumentality Project! The HIP will also strengthen marriages for all of eternity and ensure your children a safe, warm, happy, and dream-filled future in unity with all mankind.

For more details, see a detailed press conference I conducted.

I promise to enact all this within the first 100 days of my election. Unlike the politicians in Washington, I mean what I say, and I do what I promise. You can count on that. I will do everything I can to ensure that the people of America, and the world, are safe from tyranny (natural and Angelic), and that together with NERV and SELLE and the HIP, we will all fall into a wonderful future together. Forever!

I’m Ikari “Mike” Gendo, and my stunt double as shown above approved this message. I am in a secure, undisclosed location, and he is there to take any bullets that may now come my way. Because he HAS to. Or else.

Minami-ke 3–The Pleasant Surprise

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I remember feeling a little “meh” in my first impressions of Minami-ke and predicting that I probably wouldn’t have anything significant to say about it. What a pleasant surprise, then, to discover a show that really does make me laugh out loud, has very likable characters, and has lots of great slapstick to boot.

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Sketchbook – Full Colors 04 – a little bit of wonderful

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Do you also live in a bustling city? I sometimes pity us city dwellers.

The relaxed and nature filled feeling is just isn’t meant to be.

Yeah, the country side is boring. But the city is too busy and just plain annoying sometimes. But hey, we’re people, and that means no matter where we are, we’ll never be quite content. That’s possibly due the nature of humanity.

There really isn’t that much to say about this episode. There are more observations that Sora makes. Her team member for the sketch party, Kurihara, is very happy to be in the nature.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve lived in a city too long that I’ve forgotten how to take a deep breath and relax (well, with all that smog, who wants to take a deep breath).

If you remember, in summer sometimes it just doesn’t rain (I guess it depends on where you live/lived) , but sometimes it’s hot and humid but the rain just refuses to come down. That anticipation by all the living things are just unbearable…Until the rain finally comes down. All the stored up humidity and heat go away and it’s cool all of a sudden. Your dog dances in joy and the frogs sings in happiness alongside with the quacking of ducks.

It’s a wonderful feeling, and feelings about nature and observations is what this episode is about, so I’ll say,

76% recommended for your daily anime diet. It’s great to have a chill out anime, and even though this isn’t as funny as Azumanga Daioh, the simplicity and the easiness make this show a great choice for chilling out.

Ray’s take on Kimi-kiss ep 01 – Somebody at this multimedia magazine screwed up his review royally!

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Am I a cynic? You bet your ass I am! But this show isn’t something I want to be cynic about! Not totally, in any case, We have 3 main characters in a dating sim like show – yes, three. Two boys (not a surpise) AND A GIRL! That’s right! I read that the show is significantly altered from the game, well that’s fine, in fact, that’s more realistic to me. Very few people in life have multiple talents in sports, art, dating, and whatever else at the same time. How many times have we seen a super awesome main character who meets all the girls and his friends can’t get none…Oh wait, you know, real life is stranger than fiction…Anyhow…

Continue reading Ray’s take on Kimi-kiss ep 01 – Somebody at this multimedia magazine screwed up his review royally!

Sketchbook – Full Colors 02, 03 – chill out without drugs or booze…

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It’s a great feeling able to chill out without drugs or booze and enjoy girls in yukata and geta/sandals, or do something completely different from routine and discover life’s little surprises along the way…

Continue reading Sketchbook – Full Colors 02, 03 – chill out without drugs or booze…

Another day in cyber paradise.

From The Diet 3 Daily

October 11, 2007. While we weren’t starving in Japan and we really love our raisin brans, the cyber gods decided to attack our agency with messages telling us that we stole some articles from an individual (not from the Individual 7) identified as “rayyhum777”.

We were shocked and dismayed at the awesome destructive power of the cyber gods when we looked at our front page. Realizing that potentially, every visitor who comes to our site would think that we regularly go out and steal other creators’ writings, graphics, and anime episodes, and that the cyber flame attack by the Cyber Godzilla would be unbearable, Mike decided to get into his Eva Unit X2.

It was a dangerous decision, and the rest of us (Jeremy, Fred, and Ray) begged him not to do it, and Ray even went out around 3 AM in the morning to search for Rei A. But she was nowhere to be found.

Fully knowing the danger of piloting the untested Eva X2, Mike decided to risk his live and he got into the unit.

It seems like the attack has stopped and the latest tactical data indicates that Eva Unit X2 had actually gone “Giga Berserk.”

Now we fear for the safety of cyber gods and we ask you for a moment of silence.