In case you didn’t know this already, a 15 year-old-guy, a high school freshmen, (allegedly) publiclly raped a 26-year-old woman in broad daylight in Toledo, Ohio, last week (no, it’s not quite current news).
Seeing some kind of not-so-smooth and less-than-wonderful harmony between the two terrorists – Krauser II from Detroit Metal City (Detroit Metal City) and Liang Qi from the Snake (Canaan), the Diet 3 decided to host an invitation-only underground event underground Shibuya, where the two jammed live. Some “live footage” is below
Was Krauser II too slow? Nah, he was performing so fast that the footage could only record his residual finger movements. Liang, on the other hand, used her normal speed because she felt that was enough to catch up to Krauser’s rhythm. Crazy woman, eh?
Liang VS Krauser: “Get some!” “Rape!” “Get some!” “Rape!” “Get some!” “Rape!” Both went warp speed, of course!
As the terrorists utter their words of destruction in harmony, the audience was thrilled into exploding.
Of course, Krauser won the battle and raped Liang. Of course, even though it did sound like Liang kept up pretty well.
Without further ado, here it is my journey into the underground music theme and my up close and personal, not to mention insightful look, into my favorite fictional band of all time, Detroit Metal City, DMC (BE SURE TO CLICK THE PICS TO ENLARGE, AND CLICK AGAIN TO SEE THE SUB TITLES).
Go to DMC! Go to DMC! Got DMC! What? Don’t make slaughter your ass right here in the middle of the street!
(Disclaimer: the comedy bits below do not represent anything, including thoughts, actions, believes, feeling,s emotions, political view, and everything else in real life. Please do not take it seriously!)
Oh yeah baby, even the Tokyo Tower is a bitch going down on me!
My death penis will take this bitch in and make Roppangi Hills our demon child!
Shit, man! How can Aikawa go out with that fucking pussy (cat) fashion designer? How can she just laugh and enjoy herself so much? That ho!
Summary by Negishi (?): Oh my, I really hate our music and look what happens! We’re being hated and targeted by other bands! That’s terrible! I don’t want to cause trouble and fight with these people!
Today, the president of our record company tells me to go and mess up with Balls Girls???!!! Why oh why must I do this? Hey, put me down!
Oh no, now I’m at the Balls Girls’ concert and…What’s that? What, they’re making fun of the songs I created all night? What? What? What????
FUCK, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS AFTER I DID ALL THAT! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Oops, no, I didn’t meant that…Oh no I have a cold!
Eh? What? She thinks I’m Sid Vicious? Um…Well, could you please stop? Our president is very angry!
Ah crap! I’ve gotta go!
All right, that’s it, it time for our showdown…
Thoughts by Negishi (?): wow, I never knew Nina is such a hottie! Wow I thought only Aikawa was cute, but gosh Nina is so cute with that whiskey in her hand and…WHAT? SHE’S CALLING ME A CHERRY BOY???!!! GAH! That’s it, I’ve gotta teach this pig slut some lessons! Fuck! Look, I’m raping your band mate! Gahahahahahahaha!!! I’m the demon from hell and I…
Oh no! I’m turning into Krauser again! I just want to apologize and get out of here…
What! That bitch is spitting at me? Well, shit, I’m going to destroy her with the luger of dooooooom!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Disclaimer: OK, from this point on, I’m stone drunk, hating where I’m staying, and has already turned into Super Seiyan Krauser II Mode, so read at your absolute own risk! REMEMBER THIS IS INSPIRED FROM A COMEDY SHOW! PLEASE DON’T DON’T DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!]
Krauser III: Fucking killing everything and and definitely your own younger brother! God damn piece of fucking shit living in this cock sucking, white men loving (and fucking and sucking) Asia! Finally, my brother is really motherfucking cool! Hezus flying Crist! Finally, my brother realizes that having a penis-like hair cut sucks ass! Good holy fucking god mother fucking and rape one million times damn!
In this capitalist pig beating episode, Negishi goes back home and sees his mother (what, did the lord of hell do this one already? Well fuck you you pig slut, I’ve now seen it in condemned White men’s language – English!) So his mother is the real boss, after all, because she’s not even remotely concerned at all and speaks about it in the smallest and most unimportant tone! Only the boss doesn’t get affected at all!
FUCK! GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING EVERYONE RAPING OF BLOODY SHIT (the only thing about the fucking Chinese language is that I could say a lot more foul words beyond your worst imagination, in Chinese)!
But, after all, it was my cock sucking little brother, right? So I had to teach him that studying, mowing the grass and helping around the freaking ass house is good. Holy cocking balls Moses!
So yeah, I actually took time in my infinite suspension in hell, and I tutored that sick little bastard! Fuck!
So yeah, stick your cunts out to me, you who are his classmate chickx! Or I’ll go kill your fucking parents into oblivion so they’ don’t actually exist in anime…Ah fuck, no parents really exist in anime already! Shit, why didn’t my hell biting, flaming spewing co-hosts tell me?
AH, fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! Lape! Lape! Lape! Lape! Lape! Lape! Hezuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse motherfucking cock sucking flying Crist!!!!!!! The demon from hell will go fuck all grandiose structures and landmarks of this death-filled pig slut world! A-motherfucking, dick-sucking-men!
The first part is too sickening sweet that I won’t talk about it. It fucking dirties my mouth just to mention it. So capitalist pigs, you can enjoy that shit all you want.
[Disclaimer: The above comedy bits are inspired from Detroit Metal City, an outrageous Japanese anime, and is in NO WAY representing any behavior, any person, any event, and anything else at all, in real life. The views of Raymond Hu DOES NOT REPRESENT the views of Anime Diet, its affiliates, and anyone else involved at all – except Taiwan still sucks the devil’s ass. Please be advised.]
BTW, this article is rated R for foul language. Strong parental discretion is advised.
Yeah, like I also gushed these comments regularly, right?
The last part of this episode is especially gold if you actually watch Japanese TV and know that home improvement show that’s quite famous!
Oh shit, Aikawa-chan comes to the concert to do a surprise insight look on the DMC concert for her magazine! Neigishi is in deep shit! So what does he do to cover himself?
It’s juvenile, but maybe some of you will like it (hint, that’s the only part of the show that should’ve gone overboard but didn’t).
Then, thank the death metal gods that he doesn’t go overboard in his interview with the Japanese Death Metal Magazine (WHAT???!!! THEY HAVE THAT IN JAPAN??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and the president shows up with her death metal (more gayish than I thought) duo, and the poor and kind old manager of the building gets it and turns to the power of the dark side! FUCK YES!
MOTHER FUCKER! SHIT! IT MAKES THE PRESIDENT’S C^&T WET!
It’s so damned awesome that I want to start a Death Metal Band. I can sing just like that (minus the guitar playing…fuck!)
Damn mother fucking funny but nothing caters to today’s true Otaku (or Otaku at any period of time). But FUCKING hilarious!
Just wait for the podcast where I turned into Krauser II and I became the terrorist from hell!
P.S. actually, Ozzie Osborn is so bizarre, that his kids rebelled by being really normal (so they said).