Tag Archives: dating

Nerd Courting at Fanime 2013: The Power of an Insulated Imagination

It's kinda like that...
It’s kinda like that…

At FanimeCon this year, there was a panel that had just about every nerd’s attention in the convention. People packed into a large room to hear one man talk and then they couldn’t stop talking about what he’d shared with them during the panel the next day —and I was one of them.

It was on a hot topic that has perplexed and perturbed many a nerd: nerd courting, i.e. how to interact with people you find attractive.

Photo by Carolynn P. Sullivan
Photo by Carolynn P. Sullivan

That’s Adam Cullen, a guy who majored in dating and a nerd who knows what it’s like to try and date other nerds. His friend Eric Jacobus was also there with him, and he assisted in fielding questions from the audience during the panel. Nerd gals and guys definitely had a lot of questions on their mind concerning this topic, so many that not all of them were able to be answered during the panel. But two questions in particular stood out. They were asked back to back, yet both received almost the same answer.

Nerd Girl: “What if you’re trying to date someone from a different nerd class and they’re into different things than you’re into?”

Nerd Guy: “I’m a competitive gamer and I’m having a hard time finding a girl who is into games as much as I am. How can I find someone who’s as competitive?”

Paraphrasing here, but you understand what they’re asking: how do I relate to nerds who are a different kind of nerd than me?

Cullen explained that the nerd arena is huge now. If we apply the same analogy he used in the video, sports, it makes sense; there’s a lot of “sports” you can choose to be nerdy about today. You can’t know everything about all of it, but you can at least be open to learning a little about what you don’t know. He suggested you share things with each other. Introducing someone to something can be a great bonding experience. His example: he had never watched Doctor Who, until a girlfriend convinced him to give the show a try. Now, he’s getting a tattoo of Doctor Who next to his One Piece tattoo. And they’re still friends who can nerd out over Doctor Who together.

I managed to record the first 10 minutes of the panel’s introduction, so please enjoy the video before reading on. Sorry for the shaky hands.

Topics like the friend zone (“b.s.”), dating within your friend group (“why not?”), sex (“TALK”), and how to flirt (or how to tell if someone is flirting with you…) were discussed with many a hilarious and touching story from his own experiences. It was an honest panel room that asked their questions too, from “why do guys not give bigger girls a chance” to “I feel like my girlfriend wants to take things further, how do I tell her I’m not ready.” Open communication, Cullen stressed, is key to any kind of relationship.

And if you’re asking this question in your head: so should I not be fantasizing beforehand? Don’t worry, your imagination is not the problem. An audience member actually stood up and asked that same question. And Cullen told him no way, that’s the best part about being a nerd. So don’t try and suppress it. That was the best takeaway for this writer.

The greatness of this panel cannot be discussed in one go, but you can definitely send a message to the man himself if you wish to ask him about a problem or questions you have in this area. He made it very clear that anyone can friend him on Facebook and shoot him a message; he’s open to communicating.

If any of you are going to Anime Expo this year, definitely make it a priority to go listen to the Nerd Courting panel there.

Here’s all his media links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/adam.cullen.50
Forum: http://www.fictonia.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=courting
Twitter: http://twitter.com/Fictonia
Tumblr: http://fictonia.tumblr.com

Losing The Game

This is the most hilarious juxtaposition ever.

It’s not Kaicho wa Maid-sama and The Game that I find funny, mind you. It’s anime otaku and The Game.

In a sense, this would seem to be a perfect match: take clueless, dateless, raging nerds, and inculcate them with the techniques passed down by the dating equivalent of kung-fu masters. Surely that should bring about a change in their lives! Yes; let’s train sex-starved, antisocial men in a series of techniques that teach them to manipulate and objectify the other sex, then turn them loose on the dating scene.

What could possibly go wrong?

Continue reading Losing The Game

B Gata H Kei: the Fifteen Year Old Virgin

Is virginity a character flaw?

Traditionally in Japan young girls were assumed to be maidens, to the point where the terms were at times used interchangeably. Perhaps in today’s sex-positive, metropolitan world, it’s assumed that youngsters of both genders will fool around.

In that light, B gata H kei appears to be something of a deconstruction of high schoolers’ attitudes towards sex. The details strain credulity (aiming for 100 casual sex partners in high school? Really?) but the overall idea that impressionable and insecure teens feel obligated to put on airs is dead on. It’s interesting that so much of the main character’s insecurities rest on the gross physical details of her anatomy, but what better symbol for the teenaged preoccupation with sex?

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The Future of Love

How will they remember love?
How will they remember love?

Many people look upon those who express love for characters as having “given up” or “retreated from reality.” While it’s true that they have turned their backs on their fellow flesh-and-blood humans, it is woefully inaccurate to suggest they have “given up” on romance and love.

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Yomeiro Choice – a poor choice

Yomeiro Choice is all about excuses.

Sakuraga finds excuses to ditch girls and avoid relationships. His female friends find excuses to spend time with him and/or avoid confronting their own feelings. His time-traveling future daughters (yes, that’s right) try to find excuses for him to get their mothers teen pregnant in the present. Mangaka Tenkla uses this improbable setup to justify a ream of fanservice and visual gags.

Yomeiro-Choice_apes

Continue reading Yomeiro Choice – a poor choice

A Brave New Divergence

I have seen the future, and it is fantastic.

uniformlook
These bounce each time she gives a status report. No joke.

Multicolored hair!  Massive oppai¹!  Quantum everything!  Cool robots!  Just ignore the bizarre displays of objectum sexual² behavior that accompany all these things in Divergence Eve, and we’ll proceed.

DivEve

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Love and Purity in Ponyo

Ponyo (崖の上のポニョ, Gake no ue no Ponyo) is not a date movie, but it has a lot to say about relationships.

ponyosasuke.jpg

Ponyo is about love. It’s not necessarily about the love of a man and a woman, which we tend to obsess over in Western media, but it’s about a childlike, innocent love. “Ponyo loves Sasuke,” which the title character says over and over, is in many ways the catchphrase of the movie, and it is in Sasuke’s love for Ponyo that we see the sublimation of the samurai ethic of bushido into a modern ideal of relationships.

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