Young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy – Sting
Sting’s Don’t Stand So Close To Me. That book by Nabokov, if not by Takemoto Novala. Yes, and that book is of course Lolita! But this time, Aki is a Lolita! But why do female teachers tend to be shotacon? And why too many of them? What’s the deal?
Well, shota isn’t an adequate jargon, “Lolita” is better since boys can be Lolita in Japan. Just like Alice is now genderless, Lolita is also unisex, beyond gender! Ah, how much I wanted to be a Lolita…And here is why.
Senou-sensei, the subject of school boy fantasy. The scene that Senou-sensei plays piano and her students sing along, reminds me of a beautiful music teacher from my high school years. She just graduated from Tokyo-Geidai, a prestigious music school, also Sakamoto Ryuichi‘s Alma Mater. She was 23 years old, a brand new teacher, her very first teaching year was at my school. And boy, all the other boys went crazy. I also wanted to talk to her, but already all the nikushoku guys were surrounding her. As a hetare/soshokukei, all I could do was glance at her from afar.
Ahh, I still remember vividly how beautiful she was. Her hair was as short as Senou-sensei, and tall (about 165cm), slender, walked with elegance, talked with a soft voice. She could play any classical music with piano. The way she played, her beautiful hands… The first beautiful adult woman I encountered.
I hated school so much, I was an outcast like Aki, belonged to Kitaku-bu (going home club), about to become a school refusal…until I met her in music class. She was an oasis in a desert. She was my hope. Just like Senou-sensei put smiles on Aki’s face. The day there was a music class, I was so excited. Yes, obviously I had a crush on her, the first time I ever had a crush on a grownup woman in my life. Yes, when I was a junior student, 17 years old!
But I was like Kyohei, I couldn’t confess my feeling to her. So I ended up looking at her from afar mostly. Yes, typical kimo-ota unrequited love in 3-D. I used to greet her, “Ohayou-gozaimasu! (Good Morning)” whenever I saw her in the hallway, but after she smiled at me, my face turned red, and I ran away immediately. Her beauty, enhanced by her smile, was just radiating. She was too shiny for me. If only I could have skinship with her, like Aki had with Senou-sensei…well, even not that extreme, but just a little touch on my face like this…
But she only stayed at my school for a year, and then transferred to another school, somewhere far away from my hometown. Since then, I never saw her again…, and now I’m in America. I wonder what she’s doing now. Does she still teach music in Japan? She must have been married, raising kids. Ahh, is she still beautiful like when she was my teacher? But I can’t go back to Japan to meet her. Her image in me is eternally 23 years old nubility. I don’t want this dreamlike memory to be shattered into pieces. Because I know that would force me to realize the painful truth that I’m not 17 anymore.
Too bad I couldn’t be the teacher’s pet. Aki could, but his turned into tragedy. That’s the whole point of this show. The origin of madness. It wasn’t like Onegai Teacher, a romantic comedy, and Kazami-Sensei is of course voiced by our 17 Years Old cult leader, Inoue Kikuko kyoso! In fact, kyoso has a teaching license! Yes, she’s really a teacher! But in turn, Kamisama Dolls is a romantic tragedy.
Senou-sensei reminds me of Street Car Named Desire. A woman ran away from her past to New Orleans. But there, what waited her was also tragedy. Yes, what Kamisama Dolls and Street Car Named Desire depict is absurdity of mura-shakai (村社会 “village society”).
I loathe mura-shakai. Newcomers are always unwelcome. Senou-sensei was sexually harassed by a son of the powerful clan, the Kuga family, and she couldn’t do anything about it. Nobody could do anything to stop the idiot’s abuse of power, all adults were scared of the Kugas. This effing cronyism, in Aki’s word, “shithole.” This is the mentality that treats foreigners gaijin (外人). Mura-hachibu (村八分 “village exile”). Yeah, whole Japan was like that when I lived there. I was an outcast, but even in America, I feel mura-hachibu, especially in Arizona, they give red card to aliens, instead of green card. Whole NAFTA is New Oreleanized. That’s why I’m a hikikomori even in the land of “free.”
Therefore, Onegai Teacher is much better. Kamisama Dolls is too 3-D for me. I’d rather be Kazami-sensei’s Lolita than Senou-Sensei’s. In 3-D, it’s a crime, but in 2-D, it’s a paradise. Viva Lolita!
What is Lolita? It’s schoolgirl/boy. The word “school” was originally schole (leisure, free time) in Greek. So, school lost is paradise lost (失学園＝失楽園). To recover paradise, I need a teacher. The existence of teacher will make me a schoolboy again. Yes, her lap pillow surely makes me a 17 years old student! That is the Paradise Regained! That’s what I wish upon Kotoko’s Shooting Star.
Thus, as a Lolita,
Onegai Sensei, hizamakura!