Ah, this is the anime I wanted. Yes, kimo-ota life from a female point of view. No, no quite kimo-ota, but Tomoko the mojo (喪女 non-popupar girl that all boys avoid to date, literally “mourning woman”) only dates 2D boys, building her harem in 2D. Yes, ikemen boys. She is like a female Tora-san. Or Never Been Kissed type of girl. Yes, she is a high school girl version of Notes From Underground.
Oh yes. Gestaltzerfall. (ゲシュタルト崩壊) Irritated by her ugliness, Tomoko finally decides to do image change and dresses up like a trendy high school girl in front of the mirror, but she throws up by looking at herself in the mirror. She calls it, “Gestaltzerfall.” Yes, like Sartre’s Nausea, by looking at the chestnut tree, causes to vomit. Yes, gestaltzerfall = nausea. Her existence bared. And I experience gestaltzerfall too every time I look at the mirror. I don’t vomit though, so I usually avoid mirrors, because the mirror can reflect you so honestly without filtering. There is no way to fake my existence as a kimo-ota.
Yes, as if you are standing in front of a god that will judge you, yes, the same psychological pressure you get from job interviews or auditioning, or standing in front of Simon Cowell or Antonio Scalia, yes, these eyes of pierce judgement are the eyes of god, or maybe of the evil, because whoever it is, they make me uncomfortable. Yup, Amaterasu, the supreme god (Sun Goddess) in Japan, told us to worship the mirror as her other self. Yes, God is a concept to measure your pain. Yes, mirror to us is like the sun to vampires, as Amaterasu is Sun Goddess. The mirror can take you to the other world like Alice the Wonderland? That myth is already over. No, mirror is an exact reflection of 3D world, yes, harsh reality run by capitalism. Yes, capitalism is the most judgmental system ever.
At the same time I also avoid the windows at shopping malls, which girls love to look at for hours. I mean, what is so fun about window shopping? They do it like a whole day, and never get bored. That’s really crazy. And some of them check themselves reflected on the windows and primp. On the contrary, Tomoko gets nauseated, yes, like that dwarf from The Birthday of the Infanta by Oscar Wilde, he got gestaltzerfall too looking at the mirror and died. Michael Jackson sings, “Man in the Mirror,” but I see “kimo-ota in the mirror.” You look at the mirror, and then that uglyness, kimoi feeling, that is exactly what gestaltzerfall is about. Yes, I also experienced gestaltzerfall looking at Mikasa’s six pack abs in Attack On Titan.
And at conbini, Tomoko is mesmeraized by an ikemen cashier, “Wow, I just talked to an ikemen!” Though she only exchanged few words. Ikemen surely made her day. Oh yes, same, igualmente, I also go to Starbucks where a cute Latin girl works. Just to see her smile (and also oppai since Latin girls are amazingly voluptuous, but this is just b/w you and me, so don’t tell anyone), I go to get some Captain Crunchyroll. And when I see her enticing smile, my brain just freeze, that will make my day. “OMG, I just talked to a hot chick!” Though exchanged only few words. Oh yes, that girl selling hot dogs at AX was cute too. That Asian looking girl (not sure of her ethnicity, but) she was just…ah, cute as hell, yes, when she smiled at me, it just carried me to the other world, instantly forgot about this ugly reality, especially sexy lips she got I so wanted to kiss so bad, yes, skinship! Man, her boyfriend must be really lucky, why just doesn’t he go and explode! Riajuu must explode! But yup, but can’t see her smile all day long, I don’t get to monopolize her, which is too bad, so I go to 2D and watch Moe anime, Amagami SS or play LovePlus. Yup, just like Tomoko spends whole day playing Dating Sim.
So yes, I’m a modan (喪男 unpopular man, literally “mourning man”) but this is about a mojo (喪女 unpopular woman literally “mourning woman”). Yes, just like Eleanor Rigby, a song about a mojo. “Ah, look at all the lonely mojo~♪” Yes, a story about female kimo-ota, the whole show is epically gestaltzerfall. That creepy vibe she radiates, hilariously epic!