This is not exactly news, but yeah, these could be a lot fun.
Looking at the online Death Note (before I got my last heart attack…OH, I forgot to tell you all, but I’m not in this dimension any more…), here are some fun entries. The real names are withheld.
A.G. – “Watching too much Bleach A is 2 minutes and forty-three seconds into the newest episode. He then realizes how much Bleach is like Dragon Ball z and falls into dispair. He realizes that his friend D is right and the show is gay. HE commits seppuku with the senbonzakura he got off of the internet.”
Ray’s Take: D IS RIGHT! Commit seppuku now!
“Fidel Castro” – “Assasination. Family member kill Fidel Castro with a knife, thens runs away unhidden.”
Ray’s Take: How does one “RUNS AWAY UNHIDDEN”?
R. M. “Broken Skull
During a performance in the theatre located at P. Ridge, at approx. January 7th, at 6:23pm he will attempt his dive roll, but during his dive roll he starts having second doubts, causing him to lose concentration, therefore causing him to crash head first onto the floor, and bust his skull open, the paramedics will take him to S. Memorial Hospital, where he dies in the entrance from Blood Loss.”
Ray’s Take: Wow! What drama! What tragedy! What a pain in the ass to write!
“got fucked to hard in the ass ”
Ray’s Take:…I think he liked it “to” much.
S. will brutally rape him, and he will enjoy it, and then, he will be thrown into the River Styx, where he will slowly drown, and then be forced into sex with Hilary Clinton in Hell.”
Ray’s Take:…another tale of broken hearts.
After knowing that he is going to hell,
he cuts his 2 inch willie off with a rusty knife.
then he cuts out his intestints and hangs himself with them…………”
Ray’s Take: One title – Mission Impossible 4.
R. V. “Too much perviness
R. taughts his friends about their screen names and personal messeges on MSN messenger. After this he repeats the words “Assume the position” over and over. Dies due to over-perve. God bless his soul.”
Ray’s Take: Lovely. Simply lovely.
Raymond Y. Hu.
“Dies because his genitals got rotten and then goes to hell.”
Ray’s Take:…the onsen in hell sure is a good cure for herpes, and I got Enma Ai to take me there. Thanks!
And here’s the last one:
“will be discontinued soon, due to unauthorized use of DEATH NOTE intellectual property, as claimed by VIZ Media, in a recent email from my inbox. It’s time to say bye. Thanks.”
Ray’s Take:…I think I see Kira sitting in the chair for VIZ Media’s CEO smiling.