Otaku In The Mirror Part 5: Uwamezukai

上目遣い。Uwamezukai (upward glance)! Killer seduction miracle!

Ah, if a girl does uwamezukai to me, my head would completely go blank and find myself stuttering, “Ya, ya, yabai, yabai (holy shit)…” When a girl wants to make a guy do something for her, she does uwamezukai. She glances up, and looks into your eyes. “Can you do me a favor? I will give you gohoubi (reward).” And too sad that by nature the heterosexual male brain always imagines that gohoubi would be something sexual. A sly scheme or more blatantly, “cock-tease.” Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, and I get fooled again. A fool in the mirror!

OMG, if a girl ever does this to me, I would madly fall in love instantly as dramatic as Tchaikovsky’s Romeo & Juliet! Uwamezukai is one of the most frequently used seduction techniques among Japanese girls as you can see in this video. Choosing a date spot, she’ll say with uwamezukai, “I want to go to this place. Can you take me there?

But had any girl done this to me when I was in Japan? None! And in America? None! I’ve never seen any American girl do this! How tragic I’ve never experienced this miracle called “uwamezukai”!

The word “miracle” originally meant “object of wonder” in Latin, from mirari “to wonder, to admire.” Thus, uwamezukai is a miracle that makes you an object of admiration! Her romantic/sexual object! True miracle!

Yet, all I see is contempt in their eyes. These 3-D girls, whether in Japan or America, look at me like an idiot. That’s why I’m scopophobic.

I also have catoptrophobia (fear of mirrors) since their eyes are the mirror, i.e., mirroring self-object, according to Charles Horton Cooley’s looking-glass self. It’s the all-seeing eye of God. The Panopticon. Holy Cross in Makyoh. Eye of Sauron from LOTR. And the word “mirror” comes from the French word mirer “to look at,” originally from the Latin word mirari “to wonder, to revere.” Its Spanish cognate is mirar. Yes, Alice’s Wonder-land is the looking-glass. So, the mirror is God. In fact, the Japanese Sun Goddess Amaterasu said, “Revere this mirror like you worship me.” So, I ask the mirror, “Who is ikemen (handsome)?” But all you see is a hunchback dwarf of the sorrowful countenance (kimomen), just like The Birthday Of The Infanta written by Oscar Wilde. How can you worship God that made you a dwarf? Why wasn’t I born ikemen? So, I can’t face the mirror.

That’s why I can’t visit any sacred place such as church, mosque, synagogue, temple, etc. I can’t go to shrine to face the mirror, i.e., Amaterasu. And mosque’s symbol is the moon. The moon is the mirror too because it reflects the sun, and the moonlight reflecting in the still water, yes, the reflection of 3-D. Don Quixote was challenged by the Knight of the Mirrors and the Knight of the White Moon. The Knight that forced Don Quixote back to 3-D.

So, I can’t go to cathedral and confess. A clergyman/priest/father is the mirror. Therefore, religions are the mirrors. That’s why I can’t be religious, so naturally I’m an atheist. I don’t want any mirror in front of me. I don’t want any altar in front of me. I can never be an altar boy. I can never be a slave to this surveillance system like you see in London, totally 1984.

American capitalism is based on consumerism and fashion trends instigated by the mass media. So, every mall you go, you see glass windows everywhere. Window shopping is a girl’s best trend. They primp themselves in front of the windows. And diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Diamonds are shiny. And I’m afraid of anything shiny. Shinny objects are the manifestation of God. The shinier an object is, the clearer the reflection is. That’s why I don’t wear any accessories.

Only churches and palaces had glass windows, e.g., stained glasses in the past. But now, every mall has windows. John Lennon said God is a concept to measure our pain. In other words, God is a mirror to reflect our pain! And now, windows and mirrors are infinitely duplicated like simulacra, erecting a megalopolis of skyscrapers. Just like the mirror room from The Birthday Of The Infanta, and the final fight scene from Enter The Dragon! Now, God is everywhere, exposing my wounds! Viva theophobia!

If you love the mirror, you’re a narcissist. If you hate the mirror, then you’re an autophobe. Yes, as a hikikomori, my window is the LCD screen of my laptop, i.e., 2-D window, almost monopolized by the Knight of the Windows, today’s the Knight of the Mirrors. If only I had real girls do uwamezukai to me…I would happily have welcomed the Knight as my best friend.

And I would never have held any resentment toward capitalist society, i.e., 3-D. Hence, I go to 2-D, and watch Nakata Sae-chan do uwamezukai to me, “I made an o-bento, so can we eat together?” Or Subaru-sama do “nyan” with uwamezukai!Ah, 2-D girls, my eternal Dulcineas… Thus,

Give me uwamezukai or give me death!

3 thoughts on “Otaku In The Mirror Part 5: Uwamezukai”

    1. @animemiz

      Because my article is about uwamezukai, a flirting gesture most frequently used by Japanese girls, not by boys, boys don’t use it. A person like you who is so well versed in J-culture must have seen that seduction move several times in manga or anime or J-drama/movies. However, I’ve suspected the non-Japanese audience know what it’s called, so I intended to introduce the term “uwamezukai.” But I’ve never seen any American girl do it to me, which makes me sadder, since I never saw any uwamezukai from girls back in Japan either. Seems everywhere I go, they find me too ugly to do uwamezukai. Yeah, it really pains me to admit that I’m kimomen, to accept that harsh reality. The land of free? Hu! Makes me laugh! Screw 3-D!

      Nah, it’s not really about whether one night stand or romantic relationship. Topicality is about a seduction technique used by girls.

Leave a Reply