Kakurenbo, Anohana finale

I’m here! – Celie from “The Color Purple”

Yes, Menma played kakurenbo (Hide-and-seek), reminds me of Nessa from Fractale. And finally everyone found her, and then she has become a buddha (成仏 jōbutsu). But I don’t know why she said she was going to reincarnate. Once you become a buddha, you don’t reincarnate anymore since you’re already liberated from samsara, i.e., 3-D. Well, but the point is, she became a buddha because everyone loved her.

Just like she was stuck in sahā (娑婆), in other words, sanzen-sekai (三千世界, or trichiliocosm), I’m stuck in this damned cage called 3-D (三次元), (“3” is a bad number according to Tora-san). She was invisible to people except for Jintan. And finally she became visible to everyone because everyone loved her. If I may borrow from John Lennon’s words, all you need is love. Love is touch, i.e., love is skinship!

In turn, I’m invisible to everyone since nobody finds me. So I keep hiding as a hikky. Menma had Jinta look for her, Haruhi had Kyon, Amaterasu had her gods, but I have nobody. Nobody even tries to touch me. Who wants to throw a kiss on my lips?

As a matter of fact, I always give out my number, but my phone never vibrates. How invisible I am… Before I go to bed, I always leave my phone on, so a girl can call or text me anytime she feels lonely and needs skinship. I can even wake up like 3 o’clock in the morning and drive to her place and cuddle together. I always keep myself free for skinship. But nobody contacts me. I mean nobody wants physical-contact with me. Who sang that stupid song? “Let’s get physical, physical.” Yes, carnal contact, in other words, skinship. Skinshipality! Skinshipalidad!

Ahh, without romance, this world is full of boredom, like Schopenhauer said. This boredom has been killing me. So, 2-D is the only hope I can cling to, to escape from this fatigue and malaise.

Yes, romantic kakurenbo is peekaboo. Girls play peekaboo when they see a potential mate. I also try to play peekaboo, but nobody plays me. I feel like I’m a ghost. Yes, like Menma, 浮遊霊 (a wandering ghost). It’s a feeling right after you got dismissed by a girl you had a huge crush on. You walk out like a ghost. You lose vitality and you don’t feel like you’re standing even though your feet are on the ground. So, you sit by the riverside, thinking about throwing yourself into the river and becoming a ghost to curse the world.

Yet, there’s nothing miserable than being a ghost. You surely exist but nobody realizes you exist. So, you have to prove that you exist. Some become mean to people like the Underground Man. So, people would know you exist, but then people now want to erase your existence like toxic waste. In the end, you get exorcized and sent back to the underground. Yes, Search-and-destroy, instead of hide-and-seek.

I erased myself from Japan rather than people erase me. At least, I wanted to have control over myself, not by the other. So, I moved to America, to seek utopia. The Scion of Kenya would’ve changed 3-D, but it’s been proven that he isn’t the messiah we’ve waited. The next year’s election is pretty gloomy. I’m already sensing that I would still continue to be a drifter in 2-D. Fūten No LaMoe.

Nobody plays kakurenbo with me. So, I play kakurenbo with 2-D girls, girls like Menma, Hatsune Miku, and Nessa. Since I’m non-tactile (untouchable) in 3-D already, we both have in common, so I don’t feel awkward playing with them.

Most ghost stories are horror stories, Japan’s favorite theme in summer. But, Anohana was a heartwarming ghost story. Yes, just like Sadako was a ghost before, but she has become Sawako since Kazehaya has found her!

How I wish I could say, “Mā da da yo (Not yet).” But nobody asks me, “Mou ii kai (Are you ready?).” How saudade…

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