Chihiro route: 2-D Tora-san, gokiburi-man? God Only Knows…

Keima the gamer, totally plays Tora-san this time!

That’s right, supporting girl’s romantic success even though she’s into someone else. Chihiro, played by AsuMisu, the same seiyuu for Miya of Amagami SS, is today’s Keima’s Madonna. Yet, Chihiro is already in love with some ikemen named Yuta, who looks like Yagami Light, so instead of conquering her, he gives her advice to make her crush hers.

3-D romance is harsh, especially when you find out that a girl you like is into another dude. I’m always like, “Is she going out with that fuckhead?” and turns out that my nightmare was real. If only I was her sexual object… How severely I’ve wanted to be objectified… Objectification is a road to divinity, yes, skinship! How come I’m always an extra, an actor without a line, at a theater called “3-D”?

Here, immigrants, gaijin, are extras. You just come in to fill the background. Second class citizens with English as second language. Always second, i.e., inferior. But Arnold was also a gaijin, so I truly admired him. He definitely made me feel good! He was one of the reasons I moved to California. Despite his heavy second language accent, he made it to the top both in acting and politics, and even marrying to the American family icon. I was hoping his political success would lead to the constitutional amendment. But California’s economy tanked under his watch, and recently separated from the Kennedy, and was revealed that he had a secret child. As a gaijin, these recent news about him are heart-breaking.

But the other exalting news was back in 2008, when a son of a gaijin from Kenya was elected into office, but even today some still doubt his nativity like Trump did with his birthers, which really offended me. “You can be anything you want, except for President.” Therefore, Arnold still remains a second-class citizen. Thus, America is pretty much 3-D.

Speaking of the second class, the worst second-class creature would be gokiburi (roach). Keima turns into a gokiburi, hides away from a contemptuous look from girls, “Kimoi, otamega (Disgusting, otaku-megane).” That Kafkaesque scene really struck me to the bone. It reminded me of a Moritaka Chisato’s song The Busters Blues. That song came out in 1990, when Japan was still in the middle of the thriving bubble economy. And now the decades have passed, but girls still see us as something grotesque like gokiburi. No wonder I see my shadow having long elastic antenna, which induces abjection. “Wait. Is this shadow really mine? It can’t be!” That’s why I’m afraid of the mirror. I’m afraid that I would see a gokiburi in the mirror. So, I avoid the mirror or anything that reflects my image such as windows at the shopping malls. “Who’s that ugly creature standing right there?” And when I realize it’s actually me, I stampede away from the mirror. Just like that gnome in a Oscar Wilde’s writing. Just like Iguana No Musume!

Ah, Quasimodo in the mirror. We can never get to have skinship with Esmeralda. So we withdraw from 3-D, a hikikomori in the attic. The best a Quasimodo can become is a Tora-san, always ends up helping instead of conquering. I don’t want to be a Tora-san. His life was too sad. He helped all these Madonnas but never got a reward and died in vain. I don’t want to be like that! I don’t want to be senile, I don’t want to die, I want to remain young forever, and enjoy romance!

But Keima doesn’t care a bit about it since he’s a 2-D person to a T. How can he manage to keep his cool? Even if a real girl like Chihiro embraces him from behind like this, he doesn’t even have a mokkori! I’m totally amazed by his awesome goshin (defense) ability. 3-D girls don’t affect him at all. A truly enlightened being!I wish I could be like that. But I still envy 3-D world. Once in a while I go to Starbucks, just to see a barista girl smile, also to get some fresh air, since spending most of the time in 2-D at home. Though I try to avoid 3-D girls, they still appear unapologetically cute. My head goes completely blank just by a little accidental eye contact with them. So I smile at them, but they just don’t see, just like Girl From Ipanema. Thus, I have 2-D skin 3-D masks.

14 thoughts on “Chihiro route: 2-D Tora-san, gokiburi-man? God Only Knows…”

  1. “Thus, America is pretty much 3-D.”

    This is an interesting statement. Do you mean that America is limited, or that it makes unnecessary judgments about people and thereby limits their potential socially?

    I recently had a linguist who lived in Japan watch a bit of The World God Only Knows, and her reaction was interesting: she saw it as a marketing vehicle, and less as a legitimate exploration of anime otaku issues. I’m not sure if it was because Keima was too extreme for her to relate to, or if the ultimate end of affirming anime otaku quirks really is nonproductive, except to sell merchandise. Aspiring to be like Keima and being Keima are two very different things, after all.

    1. @moritheil

      I believe America will progress, yet America right now is way behind from the ideal, so it’s 3-D. Before America becomes the way I want, I might be dead by then, or too old to enjoy skinship. That’s what I mean.

      It’s too bad that she didn’t think it was a great show. I don’t know about her case, but usually academics can’t relate themselves to the folks like us due to intellectual snobbicity and elitism. This anime is about otaku-megane, who usually only tries to conquer 2-D girls, applies dating sim skills to 3-D girls, that people like us would never do since we’ve been rejected by 3-D in the first place, and that’s what’s so great about. I don’t know if it even has something to do with marketing.

    1. @idiotgirl

      Thank you for the comment. Hehe, yeah, a hikky life is way better than putting up with stress every day in 3-D. Yes, 3-D is in fact depressing, that’s why we the otaku have 2-D. Blessed are the otaku for we shall inherit 2-D! :D

  2. Here where I live meekness is seen as weakness, both genders, always to be avoided. At least how I experienced it in school.

    Have you watched Sasameki Koto? I think you would like it.

    1. Really? Where do you live? Sounds like America since America is a dog-eats-dog winner-takes-all capitalist nation, so everybody, both genders, is under enormous stress to be overaggressive to step up the ladder of success. Feminine was soshoku (meek), but now feminine becomes nikushoku (aggressive) too. Should be opposite, we don’t need machismo, especially machomen.

      I haven’t seen Sasameki Koto. I will definitely check that out!

  3. @Monsieur LaMoe

    I live in Scandinavia. I think it could be that I live in a quite small town where everyone knows everybody. Might just be bad experiences in school, that has made me think it’s like so. Hm, adults seem more tolerant, but there are still those individuals that are stuck in dog-eats-dog high school life. :D

    I really enjoyed the art style and atmosphere of this anime, though it was a bit slow. Just wish it was longer.

    1. Scandinavia! That’s awesome! Yeah, I heard Swedish girls go out with sensitive guys over macho guys. I don’t know other parts of Scandinavia though. So, small town is pretty much intolerant, hu? Same in America, small towns tend to be more backward. In turn, big cities are rampant with violent crimes.

      Ahhahahaha! I just checked out some episodes of Sasameki Koto on Crunchyroll! You should have told me it’s a yuri. If I knew it was a yuri, I would have jumped on it right away. Emotional interaction is just beautiful!

  4. I think they go out with the person they like, be it a sensitive or macho guy. I’ve never gone out with anyone but there have been plenty of guys I liked. I’ve heard that outcasts in small towns usually get friends when they move to the city or another town. I find cities too noisy so I prefer my hometown.

    Hehe, so I should have. Yes, it is very beautiful. :) I’m going to watch Amagami SS after I finish Bakemonogatari, I hope it’s good.

    1. Cool, plenty of attractive people, hu? Europeans tend to be skinnier than Americans, so I bet there are more attractive people there. America is an obese empire. Super-size nation. Well, speaking of romance, maybe only in Sweden, girls prefer sensitive guys, not other parts of Scandinavia. So, guessing from what you said, you’re not from Sweden. Yes, I was an outcast in a Japanese big city, but now I’m a gaijin (foreign/outsider/immigrant) in America. Maybe I should move to small town in Sweden, but weather-wise, I think Brazil is better.

      Hahaha, Amagami SS is divine! Yes, I’m watching Sasameki Koto, ohhh, so ecstatic! I can forget all the pains I’ve gone through in my life!

  5. Well yeah, but I tend to like any type. America is more diverse than Scandinavia, but we are getting lots of middle eastern and east-European immigrants. Yeah, I’m from Norway. In my opinion, swedes seem nicer and more liberal than us. No, I don’t think it’s only Sweden. I don’t base my choice whether the male is sensitive or macho. I just like who I like, I’ve liked both sensitive and macho guys, it’s because they are not only that but also have other traits.
    Hey hey, because it’s cold there is more reason to crawl under the duvet for warming. ;) The summers are hot though.
    Sad to hear, maybe you were unlucky. Have you thought that there might have been a girl who liked you but was too shy to tell you? Like the stalker in Amagami SS that you wrote about…

    I’m happy you like it! I really hope there will be a second season of it, or at least an OVA. The manga is on-going but I haven’t read it.

    1. Norway! That’s really cool! I want to visit Norwegian wood, from the Beatles song. I see, so immigrants are coming from these areas. I heard about the Middle East, but Russians too? Here in America, immigrants are mostly from Mexico, so Spanish is becoming a dominant language.

      It’s cool that you also like sensitive guys while women in America only go out with machomen, never seen any girl dating an introverted hikky like me.

      Duvet…, haha, in Japan, we have kotatsu. I didn’t know Scandinavia gets hot during summer.

      Yes, exactly! Kamisaki-san the stalker! Even though people call me delusional, there must’ve been thousands of shy girls wanting to confess love to me in my school years, but just couldn’t. Yeah, that’s one of the reasons why Amagami SS was so divine to me!

      Oh yeah, I just finished watching Sasameki Koto, ohhh, so gooooooood. It’s beautiful. Soundtrack was so beautiful too, fits that worldview. Really soft, very iyashi. Thanks for letting me know that anime! Very cozy girl-meets-girl romance, so heart-warming and cute, nothing is more cute than that, ahhh, how I wish I could be a girl…

  6. Yeah, I like Norway but I like visiting other places too. Not only Russians, from Poland, the Balkans and the Baltic countries too. Muslims rape and the Russians drive cars into stores and rob, that’s what I see in the news. I don’t know what to think.

    Maybe you haven’t seen them because they are eco-dating at home! :D
    I like someone right now but he breaks my heart, he likes my coworker and it hurts so much when he flirts with her. Makes me want to stab myself in the gut, like harakiri.

    Hehe, I wish I had someone to crawl with under the duvet. It would be so nice and cozy. Yes, it gets very hot most places, if it isn’t raining. You should visit some time, and go walk in Norwegian wood! Beware of wild animals though. ;)

    I’m one of those shy girls. I never can confess, just stalk and look from afar. Never give away my true feelings.

    It almost made me want to meet a girl! I would be like Sumika, the girl who I fancy wouldn’t even think about me in that way. I downloaded the soundtrack, I also liked it, the softness which doesn’t get boring as one would think.

    1. Oh, here, the cable news always show Muslims burning American flags and shouting “death to America, die, Obama, die!” And Latin-Americans are crossing borders illegally and get deported. So I guess anywhere, even in Norway, gaijins are seen as threat. Jews were intellectual threat, “they gonna take all our banks, financial institutions, universities.” Blacks, biological (sexual) threat, “they gonna get laid with all our women.” Hispanics, economical threat, “they gonna steal our jobs.” Otakus, ecological threat, seen as toxic waste, “They gonna contaminate our children!”

      Yeah, eco-dating! That’s right! Hahaha! You’re smart! I couldn’t even come up with that! They were already ahead of me then… It’s an embarrassment that I missed the starting gun.

      Ahh, that’s too tough…I hear you, how many times I wanted to commit harakiri or seppuku whenever I saw a girl I liked flirted with other f*ckhead. Or jump from the window… Actually that’s the main reason I left Japan, rather than killing myself. So, I totally understand. Unrequited love is toughest of all. Failure to attain a mutual feeling with a girl is the most painful thing on earth. That’s my 3-D life. So, now I moved to 2-D. So, instead of harakiri, you better move to 2-D?
      Yeah, kotatsu no koi, or duvet romance! Yeah, I always want to visit Scandinavia! If only I have money… I want to have picnic like Elvira Madigan did, elopement from 3-D. The day over there is short, hu? Longer night to spend with someone under the duvet!

      I love shy girls! Shy girls are so cute! You know Sadako (Sawako) from Kimini Todoke, oh yeah, she’s cute as hell! I hope girls think shy boys are cute too, but in 3-D that’s not the case, only in 2-D, (sigh)…

      Yeah, looking from afar, that’s totally otaku love. I did give away my true feelings a couple times, because I couldn’t stand anymore, I couldn’t contain myself, I was about to go crazy, so I confessed out of desperation, but instead I was completely destroyed. But I don’t regret, otherwise, I would have ended up in mental institution, much worse than staying at home being a hikky.

      Sumika, ohhh yeah. Very sweet romantic flavor she gives. A karate girl is actually a yuri! Ahh, just divine… Yeah, Kazama doesn’t even know Sumika sees her that way, ahhh, she just doesn’t see…just like that bossa song! Girl from Ipanema yuri version! Yeah, definitely, softness, that’s what makes that OST divine.

      I really like Kazama, she’s so cute! And I want to be Masaki, yeah, okama (transvestite)! So, she will fall in love with me, wouldn’t even think about me being actually a male. Trap! LOL

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