Johannes Krauser III’s “Grease your behind” Tour.

It has been confirmed that Johannes Krauser III will be on tour through major US cities, specifically near major landmarks.

The name of the tour is called: “Grease your behind tour”. However, apparently the only behinds that will need greasing are the ones owned by major landmarks.

“Watch out, Golden Gate Bridge! It’s time for your cables to lose their virginity! You too, Coit Tower! Be prepared to get as wet as Tokyo Tower did! Oh and you four on Mt. Rushmore, salivate in your mouths and wait for me!”

Krauser III gave his remark and then added: “There are just so many tower-like structures in US that my seeds of destruction and terror will be sowed everywhere! Here’s one for the Washington Monument!”

He raised his finger in a thrusting motion.

Fans everywhere have been eagerly anticipating the specially greasy and terrifying event. However, fans in New York City are going to be disappointed. The band manager has already confirmed that NYC is not on the touring schedule.

“I don’t think NYC will welcome a terrorist from hell.” She said.

Krauser III added: “Uh…Even the demon king from hell respects New York City and what it stood for, even though he does not care anything for it. So yes, NYC shall be spared…THIS TIME!”

The tour will began on the July 4th weekend and will continue through out the month of July.

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