Attack On Titan: From Buhi (oink) to Hihiin (neigh).

halokrista

Attack On Titan, as usual, shows cruelty of the battles between humans and titans. It’s so cruel and brutal and gruesome that I can’t even conceive to get any moe out of this anime, even Mikasa the loveliest failed to give me moe due to her abs. Sasha is the only one that can have a comic relief, yes, a potato eater/fartist. And Kobayashi Yuu the artist draws a picture of Sasha since she does the voice for Sasha. But other than that, this anime has been full of gruesomeness.

Krista

But, in ep 18Krista, oh man, I almost forgot she even existed in this anime. Yes, she graduated as one of the top ten of the 104th alumni. So, Krista is extremely strong, ordinary people will get killed by her instantly if they ever try to mess with her. She is that strong. Yes, trained to be a killing machine like Mikasa. But, her heart is so kind, literally like an angel. She once helped Sasha when Sasha was starving from a punishment for disobeying the drill sergeant. Since then, I completely forgot about her, and when seeing a cute little blond girl riding a horse bringing two other horses with her, I was like, “Who is this cute little angel?” Just lovely. She is the angel on a white horse, instead of the prince on a white horse. I thought Armin was a gay, just like Jean suspected Armin’s sexuality. But now it’s obvious that Armin is a straight guy. Yes, that halo radiating on Krista, ohhh, Armin got swooned. All three male soldiers got swooned. Armin goes, “God…?” Jean, “Goddess…?” and Reiner, “I want to marry her…” Yes, with that serious face! LOL. Kekkon-shitai…(I want to marry her…) Even a female soldier, Ymir, has a huge crush on Krista. Krista is surely popular for both genders. So, one good thing is that Don’t Tell Don’t Ask is not used in this military, so gays can serve openly.

halo

Yeah, all men were swooned at once. Maji-tenshi (really angel)!

i want to marry her
Reiner with straight-laced face, “Kekkon-shitai…(I want to marry her…)”

Does Reiner want to change his last name from Braun to Lenz? F@ck yeah, I would also change my last name from LaMoe to Lenz. Is he gonna say to Krista, “Please make me miso soup every morning”?

Yeah, but to me, I don’t necessarily want to marry her. But instead I want to become that horse that Krista is riding. It would be blasphemous for any human being to dare to marry her. So, I’d rather be a lower creature, just like I am a pig called “moe pig.” But at least, Krista can elevate my status from pig to horse, if I apply the Buddhist samsara/bhavacakra to my 2D fantasy.

horseriding

Ah…, bishōjo on top… Nothing is hotter than that… That was first done by a New Wave French/Italian film, La Matriarca (1968). Felini’s La Dolce Vita was still in the era of man on top, but La Matriarca has begun the new era of woman on top. Yes, by Cathrine Spaak, a French Lolita. So, loli on top! Yes, Krista keeps the tradition of bishoujo on top stipulated by French Lolita. Ah, how I wish I wanted to be Trintignant in that film, and how much I want to be Krista’s horse, feel her butt bouncing on my espalda. From French Lolita to Anime Lolita, or simply Loli! Also goth-loli, and all kinds of lolis. Praise the lolis!

LaMatriarca

Surely, this Krista moment was the greatest relief among the gruesome scenes of Attack On Titan. Tonight I will listen to a bossa nova version of “L’Amore Dice Ciao” and scream “hihiin (neigh)!” thinking about Krista. So,

Krista-chan, hihiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!